Ratchet and Clank: Da adventures of Havox!
by XxX0pt1mu5pr1m3XxX
Summary: This story iz about Havox. A lobox out 4 revengance on da evil Dr. Neferious. On his quest 4 revenge he;ll encounter many dangerz. fall in luv and fufill his destiny like da proprecy sez. Dis fic is mi magnum opis. wit over 30 chaptas planned out. Be sur 2 lik and favrit 4 mor. And rite good reviows if u liked.
1. Chapter 1

An epic Rechet And Crank famfic: Da Adventures of Havox

C**haptor 1 : Havox**

**One day on the USSR Qforc ship the guy from the game ratc**het an his sexee robot comantion was sleeping, when sudden they hear crash in mane hanger bay. And al the alarms on the ship goed off.

Reachle gist up an sed" Dood WTF was that?:"" "Lets go find out" repliers clank sexily.

So Recharge grabbed his guns and bursted oot into main hanger docking bay was a crashed sooper ship was a crashed spece ship!

"Stay shrearp , Clank, " Sais Rrechet "weenied to b prepped 4 anething"

Out of the crushed shop crawled out a buealtilly hamsom and sexy lomax dude. He had gray fur with blac strps on his ers, a pear of googles om his head and was wearing lose -fighting purple closlthes that hung of his leam boby. He had very lean sexy chest muscles on all of his limbs was all cytermentics that glowed in a pattren like the guys from Tron. on his hamds was a pear of fingerless gloves. and on his feet were a pier of hoverboots (like the ones from CiT) only these were purple and teal! He was more than just fantastic looking he was megariffic! (TBH He's probblalby the coolest looking OC evar!)

Who the fuc r u? " axed Retacet ?

The lombx looked awp "I…" he seid "Am HAVOX!"

"Ratchet pulled out his rocket lerchnera "What do u want " he screamed angrily.

"Don't worry" said Havox "i'm her to help you guys fit ageist dr. nefarox "

"WAT?" Yelled Ratchet

"Maybe we shuld here what she has to say "said ratchet's sexy BFf , Clank.

"i'm her to help you guys fit ageist dr. nefarox " he said again

"Why" yelled Rethcet who was angry.

"Because i need revenge on him" replied havoc with a stoic voice.

"WAT"WAT?" Yelled Ratchet.

Suddenlee Quark and the rest of the Q-farce tuned into the hinger. "What is 's going on here asked capt. Quark?"

This guy have offered to halp us " said Clank.

"How do we no we kin trust him asked Helga.?

"Yeah!" said skids. (If u don't know who these ppl r then git the Fk out of here)

"havoc was shaking he liked look he was about to get mad. he yelped out "Bcuz killed mi partents"! he yelled angrily.

The W-force gapped.

"NOWAI" went skips.

"He captured me and me parents from or train ship on our way to tauren 4, and he tried to turn us into rowboats."

"How does he do that" asked capran Twerk .

"He used a big spece station with a sooplazar called the megarobolazor" replied Havoxs sadly "He's gotten my prents , but they put me in the scape pod and alee me parentz were robotized."

"then they killed them cells by using self-sdiscraction button" He finnishd

"On no " said said Qwerk in panic. "DrNefares has another superwepon."

"Not 4 long he don't " Said Ratchet pulling out his austremlium Omli-wench "Weres the spece station?"

suddenly the q-forces ship came under attack, and the shape shook from lazier impacts. "Quick yelled Havox "to the brige, look like we have a fit on our hams.!1


	2. Chapter 2: Da battle

**Chapter 2 " The bottle"**

All of the Q-ferce ran towaedrs where the bridge of the ship was, except 4 Ratert and Krank. "I'm going to get in mi ship and take oot Negerox's filters." Yelled Rocheck

"And I am going with him" said Clank.

"KK" replied /qwerg.

and so Retreat and clank got out the ship and blasts out into ooter spece.

Memewhile, Havox and thre rest of the Q-foraers got on the ellivctor to the brige, when sopendlee and exposeron happens and the excavater looses power and the lights goed darke. "Oh no " said skig. "No whaht?"

"Don't worry guise" said Havox6 "I can plug miself into the elevator and transfer mi robot energy into it."

"No Wai" said skips.

"Yes! " said Havox . And he pulled out a USP cable from between his robo- legs and stuck it into the elvetre's USB Power Port. A felleng of a excritement came on the sexy Loamx's faze, he got u good felling , got a felling thaert he never never never felt before, no no he get a **GOOD **feelin.

He straiten spreying power into the elenator's sockit and it feeled good "OMIFLARGING GERD!" he shoted. The lites of the eliminator sparkled back to life and it sparted moving ageen.

Wo"w that was amazing " said Helga "how did no you ciloud do that?"

"Dunno " said Hacvox "It just came to me, vie allays felt like i has a spcl connection to machines."

They arrived on da the brig were wEird Al and his monkee assisitant (SCrunch) wer haven troubles fighting off nefaroxes fitters. Also that one bitch from the game was there too, but i docent remember name so imm gonna call her bitchkake. "Were taking fire" said Bitchcakes "IKR" Saids Skides .

Don't weary" said qwerk as he to the helms "i gots this"

sopenly explosion happen and kocked him outré of his chere.

Haviox climped into the chair an takes common of tha ship Plazma cannons "This is 4 mi pargants , Neferax" He screens.

"IKR" said Sript.

Haxorz shot down a cluster of 3 emeny shits with a will-aimed shot of his palsma camron. "good shot" said Al.

"Look" said Skid pointing out the window as ratchets's ship flew bie. "It's …..Ratchet!"

"Oh no" said Bitchckae "WTF is he doing out there!"

"He is being a hero" Saeid Qwert "Like me" Rachet shouted down 2 ships with 1 shot, he was almost as good as Havox.

"But he cannot be out deer" She SCRE4med. "Its a ttrap!111"

Soodenlee with a whoosh a giant robot that looked like the deaf steer from star trek showed up out of hyperspeed, am maniacle voice came over the Q-farces ships intercom, it was…..NAFERIUS!

"Sup, my squishes" said nenferos!

"Nefarios !" gapped the Q-tema and weird Al.

"Das rite bitches, im back a better thain evar, and i am gonna now destroy all of u with my supermegaroblolaser Canoan!" replies Neferious cooly.

"That what youthink" Yelled Havox!

"yeah!" added Skipps

Nefaroaius got a Is-dis-niga-seroius look on his his face. "This squisee looks fimaliar, has we seem him before, lawrenne?" nefarious asked Lawrence.

Lawrence looked up from his Hot Topic magazine and sead "Dunno, LOL"

"I AM HAVOX" yellmed Havop "YOU KIILED MY PARENTS AND NOW YOUR GONNA PEY!"

"weel techniclee dey committed swissice" said Lawrence "because they blue up on there own self -destract button. "

"No!' walled Havox "it was YOU!"

"YES. it was me"! said Professor robot with glee. "I was the one hole time, and know ur all gonna die!"

"IKR" said Skidds.

"Not 2 day' repaid havoc.

"well see bow't dat" Sead Neferios and his ships MEGErobolazor cannon started to charge up an glo red.

"Oh no said Qwear "red is my least fav color."

the lazier was almost fired , when suddenly! Havox fred a maissle into the charging lazier cannon causing it to explod.

"NOOOOOOO! " yelled naferous. "Lomabox broke mi supa wepon "

"don't worray " said lawrence "I am a good enginer , i kan fix the super bioblitoratoer and install software machine tom ake go shoot faspter"

"Y Da F U No Do dis B4" Yelled Neferoaos in angry.

"U no axed LOL" said lawrence.

Then Neaferous got so angry he yelled in all caps "LAWREN…" and was cut of by his magic Radioheed plaing Crawlig in my skin by Linkin Park. (I luv dat sawng)

"No way " said Lawrence "This is mi fav song, Kawiaii!"

"IKR" said Skiks.

"STFU mate" said Lawrence. "Byee scrubs"

"You're not going anywhere" Said Havix.

"O Rly?" said lawence, Sodemly the death redrobliterator pod bey doors oper and a tractor bee sucks up Retchert and Danks stership.

"No!" Yelled havod.

"If you even think a bout coming after us then these too will DIE!" Sead Larry menecering "So stay the frig out of our way until wii git the Robodoomlazer repaired, KK THNX"

Ant then the deathplbiteratorlazor blasted off into hypertron.

"NOOOOOOOO!" Yelled Hammox.

AN: I just got good reviews of ppl telin mi dey likwed da story. So I decided 2 rite dis. B sure 2 like and subsrib if u want 2 C more. I got a lot planned 4 dis storee.


	3. Chapter 3: Da bUtt Pirats

**Chaper C3: Da butt pirats**

**Ha**vox was angry, Dr. nefarious had just kidnaped Retchet and his sexy robot comppanaion two. "Damm you , nerafous!" Yelled Havox "Why do take away everyone that i love?!"

"So, like what r you gonna do?" asked werd Al.

"I'm gonna go after them" sid Havom cooly.

"Nowai" said skidds "How r u gonna doo that?"

"I am going to talk to the butt pirates of Crackaslon 8" Repleid Hadock "they used to werk with Nerafous, so dey might know were is hiding his suepr canon."

"Thats a bgrillage idea" saeid Lt. qreg "Lets go talk to the assrats."

"No" I said "It is to dagerous to go in a groop, I wal go alone."

"Butt…" said werid Al.

"No butts, the man konws what do" sead "Capt qwerf.

"IKR" said sskips.

And so Havox climbed into his ship and blasts off inter outer spece.

"Be caerful" said Hega.

Havox's ship fleu true space at sped if light, or faster. He was detergents to Resque Reacthert and clank from the evil forces of 's evil butler …Lawrence.!1

But first e wood have to talk to the space piratrs, who were some of the merest mofos is the gaggaly. But not a mean as Havox cud be when he was mad.

Havox heard his ships nav-comp say "Pirarte ships detectered ahead!" over the sound of his radio which was playing Boulevarde of broken dreams by lincon part

Soodenlee the pirates opened fir with there ships cannons, but they was no shooting connoanballls , bey was shooting asterioosd that was on fire instread!

"Oh noes " went Havox "My ships shields probably went absorb those."

And he was right too, one clipped his sodding, sending some uniportaint part flowing orf.

"Crap!" he swered. "I guss we'll b going in 4 a cresh landing."

And his ships swirled towards the enemy pirate ships and creshed into the biggest ships laming dekc.

Havox crawled oot of his ship, it was bably dammeged , but no too bably , the auto-repres function wood prolly repairs within 6 mins (geddit its a ref to Cit, i luv that game sooo munch.)

The pirates pulled out there lazier pistols "Freeze lomax scum " they said all pirate-like.

"I'm noot here to fit" said Havox "i'm here to talk to your baws."

"To bab" seed the robo pirates, and started shiting there guns.

Havox derflectered some of the bolts with his robot arms (cuz they re shiny and cin do that. k) and activ8red his force flailed from the game.

"Kill dis' guy." yelled the pierats. and they shouted at him more.

"Haverk's director shield was almost oot of power shells she he runned behind on 1 of the pirates TIE fighters and pulled out his Gauss rifle (the Fallout 2 version, cuz da 1 frum 3 and vagus suks) . Havox freid a superburst into the pirates and he gilled5 of themes with one shot and his gun started plaing bubstep musik by Skrillix and continues go for rest of fit scene . Skrilliixlix is baws. I luv his musics. Sooooo musc BAss! souns like a robot doin it!)

anyway, the pirates wes sared of Havos's big guns kill, so they also jamped into deer Tri fighters and took off the ship.

Luclilee Havox had a lazor canon built into his arm, just like cyborg from the teem titans!

And he use it 2 blast the Sci fighters rite out of the ski. "Take that u scrubs."

The rest of the pirates repeated , all while swearing angrily.

Subbenlee a pirate who lilted rven more badass that the others showed up it was…..Ruste Peete!

"What do you -hup want Lamaox? asked pete.

"I'm been searhing for ' lazier super biobliterator weapon, has you seem it?!" Replied Haatrox angrily.

"No, and you just fell into da pireat trap! Yellep Rosty Rete "Spring it bois!"

And several robots who were there but hiding came out with EMP gremods in der arms. "Because yo are a cyberLoamtrox , deez EMP grenaps will stun yo u4 a long time. "decaclered rusty pot truelipahmtly.

"But ur all robots, wont dey stun you too?!" Hacock repaid wisely

"Oh crap!" you right Said Pocet Perte . "KK fine you cin talk to the caiptain." he sed recatneltly.

The butt pirates led Hazor to the lair of ther ominous leader, Capt Slap T. Buttmuncher! the most bassaerist burr pirate in the unimmerse. "Who dares to enter me lar!" He smelled anilry.

"Um, said resty pic "It an young Lomax, he is wanting for information !"

"ORLY?" said Capion butts. "Does he havce anything 2 trade?"

"What do you want youBlastaed?" yellmepd Havox.

pirate leadrer man tolld his guards to f off so Haxor and him culld be alone. "Havox he sais "I've heard of you tales of bassery from cross the verse, and you must to good to not onlee take down 5 guys with a Guauss Rifle , but also to metgiotiate your way with me crew, what is it you need 2 know?"

"I need 2 know where Dr Drefaruions is!"

"I no were he b" said cpt flag "butt first what cin you give me in retren?"

"What do u want?!" asked Havox.

"I want u to do mi in the butt. " redrayed Slag

Havon was honerfied, becuz he had eyes for only one sexy robot and that was Clank, not some shit-kiking butt pirate. "No" he said .

"then wont tell" said cerpatian Fag.

but because he vowed to resQ Clang he hed an ider to trick the pirate without having to stic his secy fuzzee Lomabi wang into the guys butt. "I have an idea" serif Hasor.

"What" said Fabgalls? (btw da peorets took all Hacors guns and drugs b4 letting se legion leeder, just like in new veges.)

"How bout i give u a hamd-joj first 2 get u hernmee!"

"OMG RLY,?" Said captain slead "KK" as pulled down his speace trousers.

Havox moved his ham into potion sexily, but he wasn't gonna do it instead he turned his hand into the beam canon form Mega mane.

"WTF?" shooted CaTP Slam.

"Now i've got u rite where i wasn't . "Said hoaxer "now tell me what i wan t 2 no or i blo ur robo nuts arff!" (Dey exist , ther in transformers 2 , i love tha movie)

"now ur gonna tell me were Nerafous is or ill blow ur robo-nutz off!" trentoned Hacov.

"No don't do that" scremiced Crt. slag.

"Then ur gonna tell me" repraded Ravor.

"KK. He is at the sekrit mom base on Yavin 7, plaza don't blow mi nutz off , if u do i cant have more robot babies." Scremed Slag sadlee.

"Your nut's beeter nawt be ling to me" treathended Havgot.

"Der not" Swore Dag.

"K, " said Facov. "now kive me mi guns beck"

AN: Well dat wuz exiting wasent it. Stay tuned nex time 4 moor. B sure 2 lik, subscribe and leeve good reviows plox.


	4. Chapter 4: STer Warz

**Chapter 4: Star wars**

Havox did not bother telling the rest of q-teem about Rarchert and Cnakes location, this was a personal thing between him and DR DNEANGREN, and he wood have to do this alone, but to do he would need to be stealthy. So he had his sexy clothes of purple relacerd with black chinese sneak armor that cud let him go invisibles, and replaced his gus energy gun with a pair of 22. mil silenced austrelium SMEG's (Sub Machin Energy Guns) He also died his fur strippes purple because thart what was were night his parents diesd , and it is memorial.

Anyways, Havox shop flew thru spece towards Yavin & , here Neftari's Superlazor was at, when soodenlee his ship was hailed by another nearby bishop, it Was…Aster!

Aster was a big lomax with dark yellow fur and with brown stripps in it (like Recthel lol) He had blu eyes, and a liitle nose. And was very sexy, but not as much as Havox or Clankk. He was was wearing green engineer pants (like ratchet) and brown crombart boobs (like racket) and a pair of brown glrolves , but fingerless (not like ratchet) and he also had on a balk vest just ilk Ham Skolo. (_basicle he looks look a cross between hab solo and Ratchet and is the coolest OC evar, BTW Little Mikers dis is u, if ur reading dis LOL)_

Astar hailed Hanock's shp "Who r u!" he asked.

"Im called Havex" said Hevex

"WTF R U DOING?" asres Actre.

"I'm going to go rescue mi freninds from " Saif Hever sadly.

"No way WTF, i h8 that phuking birch."

"Me 2" sayed havoc "Do u want 2 join my pratry."

"K K" Said Aster. "Ill join you r part y so we can take down Nerdferouus."

"Kawiaa" said Hacon.

Aster has was flying a starship that looked just like the millennium falco, except it was black and red and had cool decal's of the autobuts and decrepitirons all over and a liscense plate thet sais "Swe_g!" (I built one of deese in LEGO Blocks once)_

_"What is plan said Asder"_

"'m goomma turn orf all the power in my ghip and has Nerfosu suck mi up in tracer beam,"

"WNat if he shorts you whiff the superalozor" Aske mike.

"Don worry" saider Havikz Sekilee "I am immune to tfat now. Cuz im a cyborg" and then i said "when i goes in i'm gonna rek the greauds and lower the tracer been, and them you cn "swish rite in a ResQ us, its a perfect plan!" It was too.

"K" Said asstro "if your pfhukin' shore."

"Source i am" said haver.

"Dr. neferios, some some pleb iz flooting out in spece, LOL" said Lawernce to Dr.

Dr nefarious was then all like "Then what r u w8tin 4, I watnt you want' for zap it!" "Do it Bitch"

"KK" said lawrtrens and he pulled out a but reb utton from his emo tremchcoot and pushed it. Butt da lazier wudnt shoot.

"Yo, lawrence, WTF was that?" Asked Dr. Nosferatu

"Oh, i 4gotz to mention that the lazier shunt b fired while its being updated now we gat2 start the download prozezz all over again, LOL"

"Lawreeee…." shouted Nertaroos an his magic Radio he'd started playing Hevy punk metal.

"No Wai, 1 lug this song, kiwi" said Lawrence who them begame to rick uut to the six beets.

-################################===========================

Meemewhioel, in the Superbiobliterator's cuntrol room , lord Vorselon from the game was there' only he was is surcurtiy officer in this. "Do a scam on that ship" he ordered a subortcate "make sure theres noone still alife on it."

"K said the robot. and he did and he said "no form of life decocted"

"Exilcake" said Versacles . "Bring it im wif' the tractor bread, ldis ship will b an finn addition 2 armee..

"K said the robot.

^^^^^^^^^^)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))===============================#######

but, deer was still lfe on the ship,! I t turns out that han solo was a master Comprurtre progamer and could put Havox into a stat of sit down for up to 5 minutes, during this thyme his life form wound not shoe ion senseors becuz of his mechanical herp. Because he was a cyberp-lomabax.

Havox's ship was brunged into the station, but wasn't inside the ship! he was on the outside because he was using he magmatic shoes that let him stand on metal surfaces and he did nt have 3 breeth because he was shup down. The bad guys cud'nt see cause he was using he is chinese stealth pants.

"like, weres the guy fling dis? aced the secratity robots."

"dunno "asked another"

"we should toll lLord Verisomol" said a 3rdd . (_BTW: Versilon is not mi OC), _

"kk said a 4th. and all of them left the hagere bay and whane they did , Havox sneaked out withhthem! (cuz he' s invicable)

Iviso-Havox sent past Vorsolon;s orifice here he was chewing his underlin's a new 1. "U stoopid Dikheads, "he roared angelre "IF I DONT BRING SUMTHING IN DR. TRICERPOPOPS WILL FIR ME!" He smacked one one the face and it blowde up. "Find sumthin to give the DR. IDK now!"

"K answered the robo-guards and they all moved oot of the arfice.

Then Hacock saw it the tracer beem control panel, it was in Morsleon's office, so he sneaked inside to get 2. When sudden , the door slammed shup on him and Beoreslon locked direct at l him.

"Eye (geddit) see you Lomtrax" said Rarsilon

.

"What?" said Hacks. "How?"

"Because " said hoerd Versilton "I am a cyborg jus like u, I can c invisibles." and them she pressed the alarum button! "now you re resq attempt is over. Tim 2 git rekt"

"Nawt this thyme " said Hajon and he pulled out his killstreek guns, they was abort to become a (1 kill) gunz. Havox taked aim a shouted The cybot rite threw the heart. But Voremeplox juts laffed "HA HA HA, you can't kill me lilk that cu not just cyborg i am a flooting head in a jar!"

"NOWAI" said skids." as the door busted open.

"Q-teem!11" shooted Hazor "WTFRICK R U DOING HERE"?

"we flowed u sead Helma" "we thought u cud use the hemp."

"K" Said Havox u" take care of the gays in secrtitry, Vormelong is all mime!"

"U wish " he said in replon.

Hamtero shouted his gunnies agern, but this time he went for head shoots look a pro. But vorselomn was a coward and was using a Stealthe Boy also and he goes indivisable. "Shir yourself, you canard!" Yelled Heaved.

"IKR" said skipp, who was bussee finishing securotyeons robots.

"Sudennlee Querten Cwerg yelled "Haerod, lok out!1"

And he looked becaung to see Norselon whiff the big knife…..He just tried to Backestaybe him!1

"That's a cowvard's tripk" said Havob.

"Ur mom" said Fercailed.

Then Havox got angry "What did u say?"

"I said ur moon, I was the one who aimed the trargeter that aimed the zaser that robofired her" Explanned Cerselon.

then Hadex got _ReallY _Angere and shouted Vorseloms head with his guns, but the boletus jus deflated orf.

"HAHAHAHHAGAHA" laffrf Vercelon "I has a refrectre shield up deer and it maked me ammune to booletes."

"What about pipes?!" axed Havpn and Havnom Grabberd a pipe from the wall causing steam to fly in Volemorts face, and the he whacked Vorselons face plate, cussing a crake.

"Ow said Vorselon i thingk you threw a d-" and then he gots hit bi the pipe ageen and ageen and ageen and ageern, untills he was a bloby smear and than Havos still kept hitting him.

Catwerk and Weird al had finished fidgeting the yes-maens in security and now were looking at Havox with worried. "thats probably enough " said Al

"Yeah" said Gilda "he looks like reed Jell-o"

"IKr Saif svinns

"Cool your tits " said Trewn Qwenk.

"NO! " yeelde HAvox "HE Paltyed a prat in killin me prants"

"NO WAI " Screemed Skipps like the little bitch he is..

"Don't warrwa " said Weird Al, "He's dead now."

"…and soon Nerferous will nbe bring to justice." said qweh and" everything will be just fine."

"Ur rite "said Hacon "Now lets go rescue Ratchet ndDank!"

AN: man im just pumpin deese oot. Im tring 2 git as mucnh don ass I can b4 schol sterts agin. Anyway b sure 2 lkie , fav ,subscribe and leev good reviowes if u want mi 2 mak moore. Imma gonna tri 2 post an ew chap erryday until school strats.


	5. Chapter 5: Da sekrit wepon

**Charpter 5: The Sekrit Wepon.**

**Havox runed **down the halls of the death obliterator while the Q-peeple held the hamger bey with Asstard. Somewhere in these unholy halls in the belly of the beast that took his prnetts was the holding cell of his troo luve, CALNK! …..and also ratchet.

Havox ran down the hall that was marked D"attention bey" "Dis muss b were Clank is" Havox opened a cell and inside was clank!

"CLanks" creamed Hacerv. But clanks did't awnsewr because he was unconsione. "I no what'll wke you uo pinside" Said havox, and he frenched Clank sexily, and Clank opened his sexee greem eyes. "R-r-rr-ratchet?" he mumbled "no, Clank, its me Havox" sed havox.

Clanj smimilied "I knew you would request us, i had a good feeling bout you the holw thyme, Wheres' Ratchet?" he asced.

"He must b in da outer ceel, lets go git him."

But dis twas no ordinarily sell, it was a spcl sell m3rked with the lable "Sekrit weapon testin lags." And it was locked with a Mega-encriptipn lock, licuilly Haxox could hax it with the proper USP port that he had in his pants and he stuck it in the lock and stared to bareck the ensrcipriton.

He then opened the door an iside was he couldn't believe his eyes…..it was Klank, and he was holding a strange gun and his eyes were red and he was raping ratchet!

"OMG" shhooted Havox "What is this?"

"It's my evil twin!" said clank "KNLUNK!" (kulnk isn't mi OC he's from R C2)

"Das Rite MotherFukers, it's ME" Klung Derailed "And i Am KLINGk"

"Havov pulled out his SMEG's butt Klunk trentoned Rathchet (who is Ko'ed)with his sekrit mystery gun.

"YOu bustard!" said Havox "WTF R U GONNA DEW?"

"i' am goon turn these fool into robot, withthis" he hollered u[p the gun "Is ia mini-robilizer it does what this speve stetion does but on a small scale , chuul huh?"

"You momstra" said Dank.

"Really? said Klunc "I may b a bad gui. But at lest im nowt a helf-robot half-squishee abobination.

"SHUT UP KLUNK" shouted Havox nd he pulled out his killstreek guns and shouted at Klunk "BNG BANG BANG BANG" went his guns loudly, butt quitly buause were silenced. And one of boletus ripped rite threw CKlunks Eye.

"OHMYFRACKINGROBO-GAWDE!" Sreamed Klint in amogomy "YOU SHOOTED MI FRICKING EYE, EYE'LL (geddit) SHOW U!11"

and he zapped Rorchech with the robogun and teleportaled out.

"NOOOOOOOOO!" scemed Fahovx.

Ratchet sited up but this time he wasn't just Ratchet!…He was Evil Robot Ratchet.!

"NOOOOOOOOO!11" Scremaed Clank!

"IKR" siad Trips.

AN: Betchu guize didn't see dat comin. Whatll hapin nex tim. Be sure 2 like, fav and subcroob 2 find our. And keep leving good reviows if u liked da storey.


	6. Chapter 6: Prizen Breke

**Chapter 6: Prizon breke.**

**Evi**l robo ratchet monster Sat up " . !" he saed

Havox slammed the cell door on him "We hacve 2 go CRAnk, deer's nutin we kin do 4 him"

Then the rest of the Q-teem came.

"We cleared ta hanger and Aster is weintg in the meliumiun faloer, you find Ratchert yet?" Asked Qwerk with a retertded look on his face.

"NO!" shoured Havtoc "Neferous has him turned into a robot!"

"Oh, no!" said Weaird LA

"Theres nothing wee cin do 4 him" Sard Havioxc "We need 3 g3t oot if here b4 more secritrones show up"

"IKR " said HELGA!

"yeah" said Sjiddks

"OK, Q-first, lets rowel out!"

"wait " said Clank logically "shudnt we search the other prison sells firth, ane 1 inside who h8s negatron, might b an alli to us!"

"IKR said Flipps.

"Ok" said weird al "i'll hax open the cells." as he pulled out his pimp-boi and started to haxorz with it, Nerfotuin's face showed up on the steam.

**"Da F du yu sqeeshee foo's tink u dong?" He said menerscingly.**

"Were kicking ur butt, evildoer "said qrewg.

"Oh, nothing said Weird al "Just haxoring ur system"

"well ur all not gonna get oot alive, because the death roy haze recharged, we kin fir it whenever i saz so!"

"Oh, really?" said mr. Yankovic. "How about know?"

"OMFG, WTF did you do You Mofo!1" yelled Nertofous.

"I just incripted the fire commond with a triple bypass subroutine."said w. al" for someone like mee it only take 6 mins, but would give it, um….5 days?"

"You mofuing son of a beast" yelled Neferous "il''ll keel you"

"IKR said skips.

**Hurry and open the doors " yelmed Herlgug.**

K" :fine" there" said al.

The 2 cell doors opened to reavel, 2 Lomabaxes!

The 1st one was a black furred Lomax malle with teal sptripes blu eyes, and balk hair, he wore balk leather and blue torn gloves and a ninja mask theta covered his lover face, like swain birdmen frem master of legends. He aslo wered a pair of nerd glases. (if ur reeding this this is u Catzykins)

**The othe**r was a brown fureend whiff red stripped and hare, he wore a sexy trenchcoot (like MCR rangers) had maroon eyes andhad on her rileft arm a pimp-boi 6000! She was also short. (BTW Luise if your reeding dis them this is u)

_(there basiclee the coolest Oc's ever)_

_"Well, _now" said Hacov "dis is interesting "

"IKR" sid Skippdes.

"What are ur nanes, young heroes "? went QWERTY.

"Mi names is Cyber" went the black guy.

"and I'm Gadget" went the othrer.

"and were badasses" went both of them


	7. Chapter 7: Escap frum Neu Yark!

**Cha[ter 7: escape from neu yak!** (I've never accutual seen this movie so lenme no in comets if its n e gud KK THNX!)

Who r u guies?" went Werd AL.

"Mi names is Cyber" went the black guy.

"and I'm Gadget" went the othrer.

"Hi, my nayme is havoc i',m a super kool syber lomabax and i m ahere 2 rewque u"

"Then lets git" said Gagat

Then soodenleee… the other sell doors opened Reveling Ratchet and behind him was an army of ROBO_LOMTRAXE"S!"

"Run!" scroomed Helfa. a and they did."

Havox and his friends ran fast, to escape form the arem of cyber looms that was behead them.

"ASBAR!" yelled hacvon "Fire up the mullein flacon"

"Alright" he said. and he did it.

and tha q-guys all gots on and escaped the death ster.

"That was Ferking clothes" said Alistar.

"IKR "said Skipdes.

"STFu , mate" said Aster in relies.

"So " said aL to the nu guise "Do you have n e secial talents?"

"Yes" said Gabet "I am a pro MLP 360-no scoper, and i has builded a shrimp ray, and a im also a pimp-boy enginer"

"No WAI" said skisk

and" cyborg said (dis is u cat") "i am a l337 computor haxer 1 haz th3 sk1lls 2 g1t in2 n e computer."

"But I can already do that" Said weir Al. (AN: kill al off)

"o" said cyber.

Back on the SS Q-teem, Clank was in his room playing GTA 5 on his gaymemaster 4500, GTA 5 was the gayme of the year, but Clank was still not happly because Ratchert was a roboert.

"Havox came in "Hey clank" ski said "R U Awl rite?" " he asked

"No" daid Clank "I am nowt happy berecers Ratchet in now a borot."

"I'm sorry about Ratchert" I said

slank started to crie terse of oil "He was my best frenid in da howle world an now he's gone!" screened Clans

Hank threw down the controller angrily "i should have bean abel to slave him but i fruaked up, I m a failure."

"No, ur not a fauile, Your a here, im fact ur mi insperatiom!"

"Me" asked Cland ? supprisedly

"Yah" said havoc "Back when i was a spece traitdor, i used 2 te listen 2 the redio every day, and u were mi hero."

Clank was speechless "…..!" he said.

"Thas y when Nenario turned me into a cyberlonax, i came…to you. so i could b a hero 2"!

"Oh, Havox" said Clank "I dint no…"

"it's ok" said Havox "I konw what its like toloose someone clothes to you.."

Clamk continues weeping terse of oil and haven confronted him.

"Is ther anything I can do 2 make u fell gooder?" asked Havox.

"U no what?" said Flank "I think maybe tehr is!"!1

AN: Bow chikia bowwow. Wat do u tink is gonna happin nex? I Wrorte dis chapta erly cuz mi internet isn't werking well, so I cant play TF2 or Cod. SDo I I dedcided 2 rite dis. Happy new yeers BTW.


	8. Chapter 8: Drunkin Robot Pr0nz

**Chapter7: Drunkeren Robort Pormography.**

Halox and Clank were getting themselves in the mood for steamy (geddut?) robo-sex. Havor statred to take off his shirp, and clank reeded a book on the subjext titled "Roboatra-sutria " They were just about to press start, when sudenlee, Werd al came.

"OMG u guise" she screened "I just snagged a copee of Watch_Dawgs 4 da PS4. dat just happened!" "i has 2 play it!"

Clamk was diserpointed.

"Aw, man said Havox. Then he got an idea. "I know, we can use the captian's room, because he's on his launch breoke."

"Good idea" said Clank happily and they went to Qanks room butt ut was locked.

"Damm, said havoc "it's locked" he said

"MayB we kin ask Cyber 2 open it!"" suggustied Clank

"good ides" sais Havox, he and clank were so in synch, it was like theyv were soulmates.

They tracked bown Cyber and in no time he was Hakering the door to Capern Qweeks room. "R u sure tha capt. wont mind me doing this?" he asked.

"Of course not" sed Calnk" iin facte ha wants us to do this so we can get the keys from his room,"

"Oh, ok " said Cytrer

Sudenly the door came open, Havox turned on the light and he saw in the middle of the room, on the bed was Qwaurk and Hoggle, AND THEY WERE DOING IT!1111

Helma looked up and screamed "WTF R U DOING HEERE? YOU MOYTHAFIKAS!"

Felfma jumps up offa of Qwert, and chased after her hero's. and she wasn't wearing close because she was doing it with Qwarek.

This was the 1st naked girl Csybre had ever seem (because he's a reluscive nerd) so he lost his virinity to the cite of Helga's watamenlom sized boots, as he gut an orgyism.

Butt (geddit?) Helka wasn't interest in him ,she wanted Hacov insited, luckily Havoc still had his Rockit boots from chapter 1 and he grabed Clank and activated his shoes and went fast, with hela hot in pursuit.

But havoc was 2 fast, 2 quick, 2 furios, and he rocket jumped all the way up to the ships' docking bays celiang.

"U GIT THA FRECNH DOWN HERE U PERVERTED DUMKOCKS!" yelred Halgra angrily in front of the entire crew (except al, who was ppalying GTA 6)

"No" said clank.

Then Captian Qweff ran into the main hall wearing nothing but a Dora the Explorer's bath trowel. "Helga" he seed "I knw your upset, but there was no way we could hide our relationship together forever. I think it is time for the universe to know, that I, Caperrisous Q QWERK, am in luv which you, helga."

He then got down on one nee and said "gutentag bie mir durst bu shim ,helga" which in Valrye (what Halga is) ruffly tramliterates 2 "I love you Gilda and will you marry mei?"

"Oh, Qwerk" she said flatteringly.

"Oh, Helga " he repated.

And the she tor off his Myl title pony (gay LOL) bath towel to revel, CAPTIAN QWERT"S 3-FOOT LONG BONERSCHNITZEL!

It was a good thing he had not taken n e Viagoron pills or it would be longer than Gagdet's entire body and ppl cud have gotten pregnant from the sight of it.

Then da 2 of them than falled on the floor and started to make luv in front of everyone.

"Captian on deck" said Bitchkakes as she came onto the flit deck.

"IKR " said Scrappes, who was sublty touvhuing himscells .

"OMFG WTF RU DOING" screamed bitvhcakes, throwing her arms in the air.\\

"IKR" said Fliggs, pulling his pants out of his hands.

Havox floated down from the celiang while Bitchcakes gave Qbert a lesson on proffesionalsim but a Valkere love song came in on the AP and droned her out (Link: watch?v=mIIN_SGQy9c )

It was the most romantic shipping coplre EVAR!

Naow Qwerks room was unoccupied, so Calnk and Hacod snuck into it while everyone was washing Twerk and helka doin' it an this thyme the made sore to lock door behind

"that was a closhe 1

"said havoc"

"ill say "said clank.

"Noaow we r all alone" said Havox

"I am ready" said Dlank.

"U no" said Havox "never in my wildest fiantisies did i ear believe this dai would come, me, Havox, a humble trader, about to stick my joy dept. in the greastiest thero the galaxy has eafer nown."

Havox climbed out of his clothiers, reveling his sexy gray bodee. His weapon of choice was an odd 9 inches log, not as big as Qwerk;s, butt his was unwieldy gratesword (like cloud's form FF6), but Havoxs was a presisiton instrument worthy of a German enginer, it was truly a magnificent site, like a fuzz wraped sausage roll with 2 grate meatballs on the side, all drenched in a succulent gray suss, with chunks of meat in it, truly a sight that only a master chief (like my brother) could truly appreciate.

clang gapped at it, this was also it 4 him, the moment he losst hs robo-virginiy to the most handsome and best Lombax Oc he had ever laid visual sensor modules on.

Havox then jumped on Clank like a wild tigger in heat, kocking him to the grung. "oh my " said clank. His passion was like nothing he had seen.!

"R u reedy" said Havox, his sexy but, sticking in air.

"I believe so" said Fank with actripitiation. as he opened his interdivisional chest plate.

Sudenlee, havoc's super sensitive eers perked up, his ears whirled round. "I jus heard something" he said.

"Its probably just a bird" said Clujk

Havox picked up what he thought was a gun, and went 2 where he thought he heard tha nosei, which was CAPy Qwerf's closet.

"I don't want t imagine what he keeps in there" said Clank

"Well, were abbot to flind out" And hacker kicked open the door to reavel another Lombax, it was…ASTAR! And he has his trousers downed asn was using Capern Qwefs presonal Crochatizer machine.

"OMFG" said havex cooly "what da Fravj r u doing in deer."

"I'm getting mi dick strokped." he said

"You should nawnt b usin dat "said Dalnk" "cuz its not urs , its Qworks."

"IKR" sag Skiipps ,as he blowed open the door 2 tha room with the rocket lawnchair from the game and it went boom.

"thanks fro getting the door to my room open, this is wit hapenz whin i quint fhynd mi keys." said qwerk who was wearing his fagit towel (suck it brownies)

"Aw, man" thought Hacov "Crockblocked"

"hey said capernicus qwert "WTF R U AWL doing in My rom"!?

"um " stramered Hacoh.

but clank was smart and he said "we wer testing the equipment"

"ok" said Fwerf "is that watt this guise doing" ha said pointing towards aster"

"yes lyled Crank

"I know none of the setting work 4 me and mi massive Scheadenfrueder except 4 the "MAX CARN$GE Setting" "here let mi show u said Fwerg and he put the crocketrazer on the macimun sertting.

"OMFG" swered Asstard, as the crackatizer gave his meet the poondin of a lifetime.

The machinma beet him and beet him until he did it. "was good" said aster.

"That was gist wurm -up "said Qwerk/

then th machine went in2 maximum overdrove mode and started fisting him vilontlee until it RIPPED HIS BAWLLS OFF!

Then Aster's mouth exploded is a malestrom of profanity, he was angry cuz he had his Dic riped off.

"OMFG, " he screened "This FKCUING MACHIN JUST TOER MI BAWLLS OFF, OMG OMG OMG!11"

"Don't worry " said Qwert "its nothing a little wunderglue wont fix.'

"IKR said Sgids who had a dude-this is- so -screwed -up lock on has face.

"wellp, "said Fwegq "imma gonna hang oot in mi room, wev had nuff fun 4 2day."

clank and havoc were dissapiont.


	9. Chapter 9: Y PS4 Iz Better dan Xbox1

clank and havoc were dissapiont.

**Chippter 8: Why PS$ is so much better tab the xobox 1.**

Havox and Cank went back to their room, they were pissed because they cudnt coopurate bcuz ever1 was everywhere.

"Man this suck a fat one" serd Havoc.

"Yes it does" sad Lank

"IKR" said Skidds walking bi wit 2 piza piez.

"Who r dos 4?" asded hacov.

"Those are for me" said Weaird Al as ahe looked up form his game. He opened the box and smeeled it like a fresh diaper "ah, nuthin butt chess and spinach, anything else makes me so constipederd."

"So what is it u r playin Al? " asked Clank

"Call o Duty ADVANCED WARFIGHTER, ITS SO AMAZINGLTY EPIC AND FUN THAT IT IS THE BESTEST GAME EVAR, BATTLE FIELD CIN SAUK MI DYKE!" sreemed al.

"NO WAI" said Lipps "dus it git rumble support.?"

"Onlee if u git it on PS4 vbecuz The Xboz1 suxs monkee buttz. Haha" said Al

"IKR" sais skips.

"but do u not have 2 pai 4 online acess on the ps4 gaming network while the Xnox2 haz it 4 free." Asked clank

"Thats true" said Havox "Butt, it is impotent 2 reminder that you pai 4 the quality and xbox live suxs because it docent have n e monies 2 pai 4 it."

Al gave an approving mod to Havox and seed "See. this guy understafbs."

"Oh thanks" said clank "now i kno…"

"And noing is 2/3s tha battle said Weird Al

Then All looked up at the screen "Oh no, the enemy teem is close 2 gifting the nuke killstreek, if dey gist that we loose the gayme and i just bet 1million MS points on this game."

"We cant let that happen 2 ur gaymerscore " said Hacor. "Who is it thats kicking ur butte?"

"This guy nemed XX_SQUSHi33_H8T0r_XX" replied Al hardcorelike "he just got the besetss relfxs ever, its like he;s mot evin hooman.!"

"that is Nefaroious's gaymertagg" explained clank.

"No WA-gurk" went skiggs as he choked on a pizza pizza.

Jaxov got behind hin and started doing the hemlock mannuvre.

"well, we need 2 do something' "said Fal "If he wins all mi MS points, hell b able 2 afford another sopermweapn"

skids throwed up.

"Don't not worry" said Clanj "wii will not let Neferions destroy ur reputation as a gamyer"

Skiks throo up again at the site of his onwne vomit.

"How r u g0nna d0 that aske" d werd Al.

"I no, said " Havok "Clank wil call him on the phone bright now and throw him off his gamye."

"ok" said Fal

"And ill git on the otherer PS$ **)available now at Wal-mart 4 only 3**99$) and ill start knifing him."

That" s a genius idear "said Weri al.

"so clank picked up the phone and dialed dr. Staferous's bone number, R0B0-666-1337, while havoc got on the other controller.

"It is dialing" ssid Dank

Skidds threw up again.

Lawrence awnsered the pone "Halo?" she said

"clank grumteed and sed "help, i am from siperwepon home insurance protection, i herd that there was a sooperwepon owner in the arena. may i pl0x speek 2 h1m. Asked Flank

"I dunno, said lawarnbe "He awful busee, mayB u shud cill bak l8t0r"

"KK, said Dank "buutt tis is a limited thyme offer, it wont last 4 ever i suggestive u anct now b4 its 2 l8.

"KK" said Lorencre, them clank heraede the sounds of fetes wallkin.

"yo y yo yo, Neffy, ders a womam on da pone who is a-wantin 2 speek 2 u" said :avernce.

"Cnt it freekin ' w8? "sad Neftrospos "im in the middle if a h4rdc0re d34thm4tch"

"no mang, he said it was limited thyme offer on superwiepon insurance." repleisd Lmawerce wisely.

"THE SOPPERBLITR*TOR 2.0 DoNT NEED NO INSURANCE, MANG, ITS INDESTRIBLE!11"

"Thats wit u seed abbot v.1.0 and it got busted in the 3rd game bi Rtchet and his pet robot said lawence "twice" he added on perkily.

"O FFS" yelled neragosa and he piked up the fone "WTF d0 u want, im busy!"

"hello "said clank in a fkafe Bulgarian accent "I am an insurance saleswoman and i herd u have a soopergun that nneds insured."

"Das rite." said nefarious "i need - WTFOMGOMFS - This mudda faker just staybes mi sexy robot assho' mang, now i gots sets bayk a gun WTF nigs, i was about to gawdaym mudafriken win da gamy, man das some boshchitt, no what im saying mang?."

"IKR" said hides from the baffroom.

Havox had set up his PS4, he was the 1 ho had knifed nefarion.

"I'm sorry? said clank "what was that?"

"I plain' dis gamme, an dis foo jais came up and knifed me bro."

"I am sorry 2 here dat " sad Clanj "butt it would b esier 4 us 2 make la trasnision, if u stopped bplayin ur gamr and wood listen 2 mi."

"no Kandoo, mi homie" said Gregorian "dis' gamy b 4 awl the MS points i got, its EZ points, cuz da fools i plain gaisnt are a buncho scrubs, dat and i got da spedhax."

"WerdAl gassped "no winder he so god at the gamy."

"IKR" Said skips as he pulled his head oot of the terlet.

Then Havix bakestaybed hi m agin, because he was so good at vidya games.

Leperous freaked da frig out. "OMG WTF, dis lil' bich ass mofo is targitin' olnee me! WTF reported, u lil' bich ass mofo docksicker."

"U mad bro" havoc typed im chap, cuz he dint watt neradon to her his reel voice.

"Would u like to here bout r intreats r4tes or should i hang up,?" asked Clank

"No, bitch" said neferiod "don't u d4re hank up the Fking pone, i wane here."

"fine" sang Flank sixily "we have rates lower that .5%!1"

"no way thats even lower that ever" said NAungarth

"yes and if u give mi ur credit card numba rite meow, it cin b urs"

"KK bit, " said Frensios "ill go git it" and then he yelled "Yo lawrence, go git mi credit card, ya lil' birch ass!"

"lawrence said " u aint got no credit LOLZ"

"WTF OMG BBQ" said Nerdgasimus "Why the Flck Knot?"

"Cuz i spent awl ur $ onlin buying all the koolist hats in TF2t" said lawrence "Check it, an unusual billb's hat, bitchazz" he hollad

And then Nerdfurious got angry, and his magic Radiohead started playin "Bitch imma gonna kill u" by M&M. (no link, lol)

"We did it said Clak.

"He's effectively AFK" said Havox.

"Now i can spawn-camp him like the cheater he is ands buld up a killstreek." Sed Al treielphantly

This was the greatest moments of al's life, which wasn't staying munch cuz he was a virgin, butt still. he was abott to win 1 milly MS points.

Al was so happy, he got an erextoin.

"I have a24 killpsreep guise!" he said

"IKR" said skiggs, as he slit his wrists to mak the vomiting stawp.

"26" His erection got'd bigger and buffer.

Al just avoid gifting quickscoped and he knifed the camper"27!" he sweated

"You can do it al "said hacom

28" al's bonner was staining straight up, it was starting to git in the way of his playing. Al strained through it.

Al No -scooped heedshoted some scrub ho was on tha blasitic knifes "29" he struggled 2 sai, bi this point his raging boner was shaking in pur exrictly.

Sudenly Al saw, it was XxsquseeXh8t0rX420xX aka Dr. nafarios, whoo has gist come back from bing AFK, Al rased his gun and….blew the hatless scublord's hed clean off! "30! NUCULAR LAWNCH INCUMMING!" He scremed.

Al's pants exopoded with with jew as his raging erxration put forth a steedy stream of vanilla flavored ice creme at the screen.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!1" Yeld Necioliuis as the nuculed lunch won Al's teem the game. "!1 MILLION ms POINTS!" he sceamed. his readiohead strarted agin. Only dis time playin end o dA wurl as we no it.

AL u did it "said Havon, butt Al wasn't there he was clinincly brain deed, as gallons of ice creem sputtered from him glock and on2 the round-wimming kill final killcam. "OMGOMGOMG" sbeemed Al.

Suddenly a bulge showed up in al's glock "That dont look good" dais Clank.

"Ikr" said skips, as the bulge swelled .

"eveyp1 git down" said Havox.

They did and then…AL's glock exploded in a shower of ice creme!

It was the best thing al had evar felted, as he lost his virinity to Call of Ghosts.

Al got up smiling in pure exsily, looking down at the new hole where his dink used 2 b.

"R U KK?" asked cank

"Yeak r u ok dood? " asked Skirds.

"Iv, e never felt beeter, " said Al. and then he feel 2 the grunned.

AN: I got mi internet working agin u guiz. So I cud play video games 2day. Butt I decidetd 2 set tim aside 2 writ dis chapta erly jus 4 u. So wat do u tink of da story so far? Leeve mi a good reviow if u liked and lemme no if ders anyting u'd like 2 see in da story. TY


	10. Chapter 10: Spece Mazis

**The Chapter 9: Space Mazi's**

"i cant believe Al will b in a coma 4 am unspiclied amount of time!" said Bitchlakes.

"He died doing the galaxy a factor." said Qwer. "keeping the world of Playstertion Live safe from haxors like nernarios!"

But now the Q-teem no longer has a haxer, said Bitchkake, like she was talking to a mentily retarted 5-yr-old

"well need a replacer" said Havox. "going aginst Nefirox, we'll need som1 who cin hax0r robots."

"what about that lil shrimckae we piked on the death ster "said Helg"a

"IKR" said Skipps

"your rite" said Hakoc

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

The Q-teem went 2 Cyber's room, it was protected with a hi titch security system, so Hakos noked on it. "hello" i said.

"go away " said Xyver who was busy masticating to an issue of popular's mecnahinsc.

"Butt" said Fwerg "weaned a haxer to b on r teem cuz Al is in hospital after his glock exploded."

"Whut?" said Syber

"Das rite." Saif Greg "al is outa comish, so weenied ur halp."

"Id luv 2 helf u guyz butt im on a quest alredy "Sati Ctyro.

"What quest R U on?" said Havox smartly.

"cyber glard angrily at Helfa. "ill till u if she leafs." said Crytor

"you little shit!" yelmed helga.

"Theres no need 4 that hega" said Capt. qwerk as he gropped helgas bobs.

"IKR" Said Fizz

"If u agree to vagact the presences ill give u a 6y BJ l8t0r 2 day no what i meen?" said Qrewq.

""K" said gilda and she lefted.

"Noaw lets git down to biz." Said bitchkakes, to cyber. "wats ur freaking problem, broface!?"

"Yeah" said skils.

"My problem…" said Fyber

"Yes?" said Bitchbackes.

"My proble….."swed Cyrer

""Yes?" said Bitchbackes.

"My problem is that my beloved was kipnapped!" He scrammed.

"WUt?" said capt qwerk

"Yes, he was kivnaped" comfered cypris

"By who?" axed Vanoss.

"He was kedmaped by…. Space Hitler, the last Male Valkyrie in the universe."!

"NOWAI " Skipps said.

"Yes" said Cyber "Space-Hitlor h8ts lomaxses, so he jimapped mi lover and is making hm work 4 him!"

"Who i your lover:" asked clank?

"It,s …..Sigmund Freud!" Said cyber!

"NOWAI!" said slips

"the galixy famous robo-plilosprer, not 2 mention totali cute robot." Said Havox in exlpistiion

"Yes" said Syber "I built him. I ;m his father.!"

"NOWIA?" sais diigs. "U bilt him?"

"Yes!" said Cyber.

Suddenlee the ship shocked and rumpbled.

"WTF is that !?" asked Gaglet .

"Lets git to the brige" said Havox. and he rocket booted 2 the bridge of the ship at fast as sound of speed.

"Whats gong on?" axed Havox.

"We're being attacked " said Bitchkakes.

"Neferious?" asked clank!

"NO!" said Fichlcaks "Worse…it's…..SPACE HITLER!"

Then Spacegitler came on the screen. "Gutantave, ya Mofos), itz mi, Space hitler, an im here 4 da Lomaxses."

"You'll never take us alive "said Bitchkakes.

"O RLY"? said Spacehitler. "It'll B EZ when I disapel ur ship. And than Space hitler's ship (which looks like a giant swisstika) fired an EMP blast at The USS Q-forse.

"Warning! no power! " sad the ships computer.

"Mwahahahalololololo" gaffed space hillier crully. "Noaw ur deed in the water and the loomaxeses will b min.

"On no" saud Bitchkakes

"Oh, Ya" said Fuher.

"the power 2 the elvertartor is oot." sed Havox "DER NO ESCAPE!"


	11. Chapter 11: Da rap scene

**Chaper 27: The rap sene **

Warming: dis chapter probably has a rap part 2 it, don't reed if u have triggas, viewer desrection is avised

We R trapped in the ships cockpit" said HEvox "WTF R Wii gonna do"

"Each other" Suggusted That stupid butch. "We mat as we,ll given how were gonna die."

"WTF" yelled Havoc "thats so firkin ducked up you stupod bitch, bsides, I have eyes 4 only 1, and he's CLamnk."

"You fagolabot, u canyt like him cuz he's a robort AND a dude!" she screamed "Yur sexy ass shuld b mine."

"No, I am srry, now let us focus on talking down Adolf Hitlor"

"Theres nothing wii can doo," saic bitch cakes. "Spachiler is going 2 kill us."

""Nawt yet…" said Hacov pointing out teh window at Astar, Gaget and the others who were fitting Space hilters Naziu fitgters. "Dey got this, man, i onlee wish i cud b oot there halping dem…" suddenly, …Hadocs cyper-heering heard the sond of a electro-taser charging up.

He turned and he saw…. BItchkaked, who had at the taser pointed rite at him.!

"WTF R U dong!? "sreemed hacoc.

"Ur the sexiest Lombac eyeve evar fraenking seen, I wants you."! she scrheiked like a historical bitch. and then she shouted him with it, and paralyzed him.

Havox failed to the grung "NOOOOOO!" he roared. he couldn't lose his viriglity to the STD-riden bitch, it was his destiny to be with his lover, Clank!

"I m goon hive mi way with u,!" she stemmed a"nd there aint shat you cin doo abut it.!" she crept up to lHavox's praylized form, he was fully conscience on the inside despite being parilized. The space bottle was still gong on outside, and te elevator has no power so noone cud helf him.

Butchkakes took off all her cloves and crept up to havoc sexily, even do she wasent sexee, but havoc didn't git a bonner because she wasn't clank. Bitchkakes took off his panties and was amazed at the quality of his cyborg ports. "Oh Havox, ever since u arrived on the SS Q-teem ,i ve kew u were sexier than Retchert, butt this, O this, is the most amazing pingas I've evar seen! and it's all mine." Bitchkakes reechoed towards his cybor-pingis. When sudenlee…..There was a blinding flasp frum the middle of the cokpit.

From oot of the blinding flash stepped oot a manly figure, he was 6 feet tall, wearing a leaner jacket sunglasses, carying a shotugn in one hamd and a chronosphincter in the other, basiclee he looked like armband Swhertizogger in the Temropator moves, it was….CLANK!

"WTF is this!" screamed Bitchlakes!

"Hello havoc" said Arnold but with Clanks' head. "I am here 2 resQ u" he said with the same sexee voice.

"Clank" said hacoc, he shot up at the sight of him, so did his bonnet at the sight of clanks sexee robot bodee. "What happened to u?"

"I am fine" said Clank "I am frum the future, and i am here to same you from being molested without ur concent."

"Thanks" said Havox.

"U caint stop mi from frunking him "sreemed physcobitch!

"No!" said Clak "I cant, but these guise can" and Clanj waved his chrinospecter and summoned 5 mysterious dark figures and 1 shining wite one.

IT was…..All the original OG's! Snoop Dog, Ice Cude, 2-packs, Kanye Wast, 50cents an the wite Guy was M&M!

"Yo!Yo!Yo" asid fitty "We da 6 gangsta rapers of the Rape prevationaloypse, and we here 2 raise da roof on dis muthaficka!" said 50.

"Straint outta Condom" said Iced tea

"Fux yeah" said Fanye West, who was touvhing himself. "Wurd"

"yeah said 2-pik "We h8 rarpists

Snop didn't say anything he just pilled out a massive blunt and started to smoke it, causing the room to fill with smack.

M&M stepped 2 the front of the grope and started to sing, with the rest of the OGS minus snoop, backing him.

Eminem sang (To the tune of go to sleep bitch) ( watch?v=TiTaSsJeHJM)

"I ant goon crap, I ant gonna pee, I cantbelive watt i see. A rapper like you makes me go puke, so what i want to do is give you jukes. Permanetly in the the dirt is where you go for being a jerk!" Then he and the rats of the OG's pulled oot their unregistered fire arms and started to shoot Bitchkakes while M$M sang the chorus." Now go to sleep bitch!

When they was done Bitchjake was dead!

"Surfs you rite, BITCH!" said M&M.

"Word up motherfocker "! said M&M's dad, 50$.

Then all the OG's gave each other a brafist.

"Good job guise!" said Futurwe clank.

"OMFG" sreemed Hacok "You just killed the galactic president daughter."

"Aw Shit! " swoered 2-pac "I gezz we did"

sudelee the lights flickered bak on and the galactic president came on the viewcsreen. He was named Barbax oboma.

"Hows mi favorite daughter?" said obable

"She's dead, mothafokka" said Iced soda.

"Yeah said 2-dack.

""What" sreecmed lambax

"Yeah" said emmie "and we did it 4 that guy who was being rapped." he pointed terds Havox.

"MI DAUTHER WOULD FREAKIN' RAP SOME1 Sreame lambax onaoble angrillee.

"Up urs!" said 50 2 the geletic president, because he rejects athoritee.

Snopp smoked pot.

"U cant speek 2 mi that way" screamed Barak "Ur all deed, especially you Havol" he said argrilee. "i am goon send bounty hummers after u until you r dead!" he gargled.

"I had enough of yo BS"said Iced lemon and he pulled out his glock and blasted the viewscreen. causing it to explode.

Havol sits up "TY U sayved mi pingas from a lifetime of hermes."

"I had 2 " said future Clank "in order 2 save the future, your thingee must remain intact."

"WHat?" said Havok.

"don't worry" said Famk "Iltl all make cents in time."

"Wurd" said $50.

"it is time" said Future CLank "I must go….babk 2 da future."

"And all o' us gotta go back 2 Contom " said dr dre.

"KK" bye said havoc.

and then all the rapers teleportaled out of the bridge, leaving only Raovox and bithchakes bleeding corspe.

Thwen Astaer came on the viewscreem. "Havox u have 2 halp us, We've all bin captured bi Spece Hilter!"


	12. Chapter 12: Spece Hilers final frontier

C**Hapter niene: Space-**hitler**'s final frontier**

Havox restored power to the elevator the same way he did in chaprter 3 and ran to the ships hamger.

"Whats going on" asked Helga.

"Bitchcakes tried 2 reap me " said havok "so Clank came from the future and a buch o black niggas killed her."

"NOWAI" said sicks.

"yes." said Haxov "now, the SS Q-forse will need a new commander."

"That' has 2 be Qwerk" said Felga.

"IKR" said skuids

"I no " said Havox "but he and the rest oft the Q-teem has been nazi-napped."

"NO!" went Helfa. "THE LIFE OF MI LOVE!"

Don't worry "said havoc "Il'll resqu dem rum Spacehitler." and he climbed into the back and red milienum flacon.

"IM gong whiff u" said Helga to havok

"No " he serif "its 2 dangerous"

"But I need 2 go! she yelled"

"Why?" axed Hacov

"Because,…..beacause…SPACE HITLER IS MI FATHER!111" she blurted.

"NOWAI !" said Dust

"Yes, " said Helgo "He's always bin mi father, but i kept it in secret.

"Its K", helga " said homax "we caint halp whoo r prents R"

"THNX 4 underpinning" said Halgo

"no prob" I said "Letsgo"

and we blasted of towards Spitler's swastika ship.

To bee continooed!

GoodReviews=====================================================:D

Havoxs ship woodshed loundy throo spece, but the spacs Nalis didn't hherr cuz ders no sound in spawce

"The Snazlis wont see us , cuz ive bput a cloxking hevice on the ship" explianed Facon.

"K" said Helga

and the Nazi ships dint see them.

We sled trio to sneak in thrioo the garbage outlet, "dat leads 2 da prison where Qwert will be" sid helgo.

"How do u no?:" asked Garox.

"Because i no Valkeri ship bualding techniques" she said. And she did cuz she was a valkeriy

"O" saif haxox.

"look "sid Gergla "deer opening the garage outlet rite now!" she said again "wee cin sneak in"

"how convenient" said hevox, and he blasted his ship forward bast all the junk and into the ships equivalent of a butthole.

"we're im" said havoc landing hs ship in the ship.

"OMFG," screamed HELA "LOOK OVER DER" she pnted

in tha corener of the room she saw a curled up green figure. it was ….CAPT QWERT!11"

Helga ran uo 2 him and hugged him "OMGOMOGMOGMOGMOG HOW DID U MANAGE 2 ESPANE hITLER?" she rasped.

"I flushd mislef down the toilet" said qwerdk.

"How resourceful" sad Hacov roliing his ice.

"O Waow, that is so smart" said Halga and i love smart men." she sead.

"well…" said Gwerk bushfully. "I am smart. And a man!"

and then she tore off her cloves and pounced on qwert like a rabid wolverine with an epidiumus complex.

Qwert took off his phants and then…A securty robot shaped like a big bomb showed up.

"SEXBUSTER" yelled qwedq!

"OH NO" went halfa.

"Havox pulled oot his magaman arm cannon and charged up. "Don worry i got this" he swed.

And he shot the robot and it exploded loudly.

Sudenelee a klaxon came on and sed" intereder alert!" it repeated.

"oh no." sid havoc as sucsrity Nazis came.

"Freez in da name of da heisen fuhur" dye said in a gvalkiry accent.

"No" said havoc. and he shoouted them with his armcannon. "Lets go to the detention bey area.

"KK" said qwerty.

========================================== leve mi good revioews

QWERk and Helga had taken ta nazi troopers unicorns and put them on, cuz they lost ther own cloves in the garbage machine, which Haxox got them oot of like he did the escalator in ch3.

"We gota find da dention centre said qwert.

"Yeas" said havoc who was disguised as their prisoner. "with u2 discussed we shuld have no tribal getting der.

sudenlee a gaord showed up….it was a nazi!

"Where r u gong? he asked.

"we gong 2 da detention certer, 2 put dis gui in da cells" lied Halfga.

"o" said the gourd. "KK"

they went on walking, but the gerd said "weight"!

they all froozed, Haxox got reedy 2 use his megaman cannon.

"be arfu" said the guard." 1 of da prisoners escaped eerlier and we cant find him."

"kk" said Hekla "will b careful." and the they went 2 da detention room.

"Dat was close said Fwerg.

=========================================================Good reviws

Hoavex and he's friend s got into the deetionion arena.

"Whats the sucrety password?" asked the guard.

"It's your mom!1" screamed helga, who pulled oot her plasmo pisstil and charged it up at the guard.

"chaudenfrauder!" went te guard. (which is valkery for "Total BS")

And Helga blasted da gard in da faze and she died faster than the firfly TV series.

"OMFG" went Havor "WTF did u doo that 4".

"That was Angela, " said Felga "A snooty bitch who, when i was a teenager, told mi i wood never b with caoptin qwerg cuz he was 2 famous 4 me."

"thats terrable" saed qwert.

"I no, that y i killed her." repselnonded Gargle.

"good thing too." said qweerg.

"lets have sex now." sai gilga.

"Not yet, weened to resQ the gang. said horax.

"UR right " said QWerty. "our friends must come first."

Then havoc saw Gaget and cyborg, in a cell 2gether. "wow, ! this is just like how we 1st met, Huh."?

"Yeah" said gadget.

Therie was anodder Lomax in da cell with dem.

"Who r U asked "? hacoc.

"My name is rabbi JayZee." Reprocaed the old lamboax "and im a proprot."

"Now WAI"! saif Helga.

"Yes" said The jew "And I have seen u in 1 of mi visions, hakox."

"You no who I am gonna be?" asked Hacov.

"Yes" said the jewish guy. "I no your troo destiny." Sed JZ

"Whut izzit!?" I asked.

"Your destiny is to become…Havox freeman, the lomax master of space and hegegogs AND THE TRUE HIGH KING OF SKYRIM." he replayed wisely.

"Woah." Went every1.

Get us and the others oot" said Syber. "BTW did you fing sigmind yet? he's still mi waifu."

"Nawt yat" said "hacoc.

"I no where he is" said Asterd with confident "I an robotics export, so I can sense when robots are around."

"Coll" said Havox.

"OMFG sareamed coyer "where iz he!"

"Heiz rite der!" Sreamed aster! piointing!

Sudenlee a lazor blast came across the room and hit rabble JZ. Every1 looked at the direction the blast came from, it was the same reason Aster was pointing. Standing there in a red coloered mecha mobile souit was a short little tall gui with a hitler-mustach, he was angery, bald, and wearing a t-shit that said "I h8 l0mbaxes", it was …Spcae Hiltlor!1111.

AN: Dis chjapta was reely fun 2 rite. I hop u liked. If u did b sure 2 leeve mi a good reviow and let mi no if ders anyting I can do 2 mak da fic betta. I will aslo rite short storees bi da request of mi aboring fAns (Das u guize). But shool starts nex week so I wilnt not b able 2 rite as much :=(


	13. Chapter 13: Sh1t gits reel!

**Chptor 010: Sh1t gits reel!**

OMFG WTF did you do to freude!" screamed Cyver in rage at space hitler.

"Hilter speaks in a raslpily voice "I turmed him into a mecah suit, so I culd bask in the iromy of the robo-pacifist's being forced 2 kill all thos whoo disagree with the mite of the 3rd rite." He cakled.

"Ill kill u " sad Fyber.

"Not without hurting your prcaerios Simon" taintered Hitoy.

"Oh shit" said geget "he's rite, u wont b avblre to mak3 hitler ded without hurting simon as well." he explaned.

"Too bab I don't care aboot Sigmond.!" Screamed heplo, paulling oot her plasma gun.

"That's no wai 4 mi daughter 2 talk 2 mi." sa9d Liter "bsides, ive got a missle lock on ur lover, Kyerk, and if u shoot at mi, i'll kill him!"

"NO!" sreamed Fwelga."

"YES!" cuontered Hilter space.

"Wow, said QWERT" you spund just like ur fither.!"

"no! "said helpa "im nothing ike jim!"

"Search ur feeling uno it 2 b troo" said Gitler.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" yelled Helgo. And then she blasted a nearby cruntol panel, cauing a door to shut between the Q-teem and Space hiter and his mecano soot.

"No" went Cyper "we need to sayve sigmogn."

"We can do that l8t0r" said Geget

Hacov ram over to were rabbi JZ lay, he wasnt in god shape. "Rabbit, " he said.

"Havox," he sed "onlee you can forfill ur destine and save the lomax ppl frum the rath of space hitleor, nefarox, and worse!" he said "It is up 2 u, non1 else can do it 4 u" And then he did.

"RABBII!" yelled havox.

"theres nothing we can do Ratchet" saed qwehg "He's gone, the only thing left 2 do is look thru his porketsd 4 lose change."

"How van YOU B SO INSENSITIVE!" yelled Facoc. "He was the olee 1 who new mi destinee and now hes gone!"

"Hay!" said Cyber "lets not lose site of the mission, the goal is to spop /spacehilter. And mor importantly resque sigmond"

"ur rite, im sorry" said hevix "now lets go kick ass"

"fo sho'" said Relha

The q-teem blasted der wai through stromtprooper Nazis.

"Good job clering dem all oot" said Aster.

[Thanks" said Gaget "Ur puty god at it 2"

"Cthanks" replayed Mike.

Then Havox stepped between them , they were awed at his presence. "Pay attention, if were goonna mak it to the SS Switako's bridge, were ganna need 2 keep our heds in the gayme."

"I know, right." Said qwerq.

Then, the Qteem was ambusherd, by a pair of fat baxsterds wearing power armor like the guys form Woldenstein: the new world order.(I got that game dis christmans, and its pretty good, I would totally recimend it) They had chaim gums and started shooting a the Q-teem!1

"Look out " Yeelded Cyber.

The Q-teem hided behinf cover brefore the fat guys culd shoot them. "Crap" swoared Helgo viliently. "How r we gonna git pist thim?"

"WYh don't u try seducing them ?" Suggusested assterd, as he was being shot at.

"No wai" yelled Helpo "I alredy have a boifrend, and its me, and qwerj, Lovers 4evaer."

Yeah, said Qwert "Where the fxuck do git off telling my GF to do something like thast?, Gawud you r xsoooo futcjking perverted it makeds mi sik to mi face " qwerg cuntioed "no wonder u cant git a girlfriend you messed up weirdo. Gawd"

Aster frowned.

Thrne the Qteem flooked up and saw that the power rangers had stopped shooying, Cyber had sneeked behing them and dispelled their power armor.

The 2 valeries sweraed in German angrily.

"good job" Said qwerf. "that was som smart thinigkg" he said.

"Thanks said cybere.

"I cant blive that scoundreral wood ask me 2 do that, watta creedp " said Helga in a german accent.

Gaget puts his hand on the greifing asterds sholider. And saiys "I didn't think itr was suck a bab idea, I think u did good."

"Thanks " said Astrwer.

"Well I said" lets continue on!" sakd Hacoc.

AN: Ders A reason Aster and geget are acting so qwwer in this chapta. Stay tuned 4 more 2 find out why. BTW School starts soom.


	14. Chapter 14: Da fall of da 3rd righch

**Chanpter 16: THE fall of da 3****rd**** rightch**

The Q-team continued to follow the sighns that said "Go to the breige " in valkerie.

This must be the wai 2 the bridge " said qwerk pointing the wai the sighn pointed.

"We did it" Said Havox "We maked it ".

The bregde is rite there said Felga :Lets GO"

So they all gt in the Elvaevator.

"Well be at the brifge soom." Said Helho "Then we can confrort mi farther and end this once and 4 all."

"And wi can resQ Simgomnd" Said Cyber.

"Yeah" went evetyone.

Then the Nazi's cut the power to the elsvator.

"Oh no " said Astar "Naow WTF R WE Gonana do?"

"Don't worray" said Havox "I know how to deal with this situation" said Havox with a wink. And then I got out my robo-snitzel and prepared to repower the elelvator.

"Wait!" said Cyber "What about Clank! You made a vow 2 him that he wood b the onle 1 4 ur life, If u power up this escalator yull b breaking, your vow, and that's bad!"

"Ur rite" said Haov "I probbabbly made a vow 2 Cank that I wood nebver leaf him."

"Weel then how the Frig R We gonna git oot.!?" Said Aster (who btw is good with robots/ computers butt not machines.)

"I no" I said.! "Well go out through the maintainence shaft."

"Good ida" daid Qwerk. Who then picked up cyber and pushed hir up the shaft.

"What do you see up there?""!? asked Helgo

"I dunno" said Cyber "iyts 2 dark."

"use dis flasjlite" sed qwert "Now wat do u see?!"

"A swingshot point that we can use 2 git 2 tha bridge" sed Cybor

"That's conventiant" sed gegetr.

THE q-TEEM busted in2 the lair of the Spave Nazis. "Strop ritye there evildoer" said Qwerk as he hookshited into the room.

The room looks a lot like the bbroige of a ster derstoyer and has a bunch of nazi girls at the Battle Satrions.

"Gutetav" said space Hitler, who was still wearing his frueduian pwer armor make from scybors robot lover, simon from the games.

"This ends now" said Havox

"Im going to resque mi beloverd somgomd from you Hitler, and theres nothing u con do about it."said Syber.

"O Rlly?" said Space hitler "How will you going to do that?" he askecd in german

"Dunno" said Syber.

Space hitler laffed menacingly "U fool, Sigmond and I are joined together by the nerves in mi weinershnitzel. The only wai to 4 us to DisConeet is 4 me 2 no longer jhave a bonner. And thas not gonna happen bcuz being evil makes me hard."

"WTF" said Helga "You could speak English this hole time and you nevar did."

"I learned it from you" explained Hitler.

"You momster ]" Yelled CYBER "Git your dick oot of Simgmong rite naow!11"

"No" said Hirtler "which roufly transleaes to "NO!"

"Bitch" said aster.

"Enuff of this" said spitler "Go mi space mazis, Gutentav chocolate chocolate!" (Which rouly translates in2 "Kill them All")

Then all the feminazis pukked oot their lazier pisters and started shooting, but havex threw a grenade from the game and blew a lot of them up.

"Don't jurt my simon" Wailed Cybrob.

"No guarentees" said Helso who started to shoot aat her father.

But hitler doged it, he was skilled in a firfright.

Aster and geget were fighting the namis togetharner as a steedy streem of profanities came oot of everyones mouth.

The mooks wasent giving the W-teem much problem, but mecha-space-sigmond-hitler was just to powerful. He shot missle after mislle after rocker after warhed at the Q-teem and the only reason he dindt explode them all is becuz havox had a personal defractor shield wall deployer from the 3rd game.

"That wall wont hold him off forever!" Screamed Haxox Braverly.

"I know right" said Helga.

"What are we gonna Fcuibng do?" asked Adter.

"Theres nothing we can do" said Cyber "As long as he has control of simon via his libido, he is in control of tha situation."

"Then well need 2 get rid of his libidio." I said.

"OMFG UR A Genius " said everyone but hiler.

"I know" said Hqavox.

"What is the least sexy thing that you can thibk of?" asked Cyborg.

"Your MOM !1" LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOOLL" went Gegert.

"STFU" said Aster "this is serious flucking bizness."

"Well said captition qwerk "Hitler said he loved being ebil makes his dic big. So seeing me, capten qwerg, the epitome of goobness and justice, mneked and sexy, will make his wille scrivel up and die faster than a devils snare on the surface of tantioeene." And then qwerk Ttook off his pants revealing his 4 foot long equipment.

Space hitler stared at qwerrks sasuage and started to moan. "HAHAHAJlolollololo" he went "You think you can shuit mi libobdo down jjust like that? He said "beig gay is 1 of the most evil things evar, I am so turned on by that." Space hitler

"it no use." Said Helgo "Mi father is so ebil that only the most sacred and pure actions will casue him to loose his perpetiual weiner that he got from taking radioactive Viagra when he was 24."

"HAHAHAHAHAHA" lasffed Hitler. "It is onlee a motterof thyme b4 the sheifd craks under the strain of mecha-sigmunds might, and den I will destroy u all!"

"W8" I isaid "I have an idea" "cyber" I continued "Can u hax into the ships mainframe from her?" I asked.

"4 sho" said cyber, who then did.

Space hitler smirks, and so did mecho-simon because their emotions were simced up.

"Oh no!" said Cybor "Its triple password emcripted 2 git iall the wai in.!"

"Can u hax it?" asked Qwerk.

Crack started to appear in the shield.

"ot in the amount of time wii have" said Fyber "Ill have 2 guss the password."

Qwerk shoved ctyer out of the wai. "Here let me tri, I am reely luky at gussing passwords, that's how I won the lottery wen I was 22."

Qwerk tiped in the password "Ih8n1gg3r5XxX420"

Beep PASSWORD DENIED *2 Trys remining*

"Oh shit, that usually works" said qwerk "lemme tri" he typed in "Evil"

BEEP {ASSWORD DENIED *1 TREIS TREMAINING*

Every1 gapped. "bE cArfu l " Said Hoxox "1 more failed apemt and yull b loked oot.!"

"ololololololololol" said Space Hiter "Yull never gess mmi passy, its is 2 good of a password, lololooololol" he laffed mmenndy.

"Let me see it" said Haovx wislee.

"KK said QWWERRt

Havox looks at the passyword hint. It said "the name da furrur sekritly loves"

"Hmmm' thought Hacoc.

"It's obvie, isn't it." Said qwerk "Its Hitlor. Wat ealse cud it b?"

"No, that's 2 obviuse" said Havox. "its gott2 b something alse."

Hitler gave out a pirat laff "myarharhar, yull nevar guess it."

More ckrack started 2 apere in the shield.

"Hurry" scrwemaded every1 "hitlers gonna kill us!"

"Alvedisai, Dumnkomps" yelled Hitler. Which is Germin for "Git rekt, nerds"

OK" said Havox thinking qultly.

"the password is…"

The shelid was almost breaked.

"HELGA!" typed HAvox!

Suddenly, Mecha simon stopeed firing. "What did u sai?" said hitler.

"the password is "Helga" becuz no mattor how much u h8 2 admit it, der is still a littler luv in ur blak hearth."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" screamed SPACE HILTER. His boner deflated like a balloon that had had all the air let oot of it. Just as the shield was destroyed.

Sudenlee mecha-simons eyes he saw Cyber. "father" he yelled in his aborable, sqeeky voice.

"Sigomnd" said Cyper passionately , and they went towards eachother and embraced eachother in a hug passivly.

Hitler looked up from da floor, he wasent wering pants, because that was how he controlled his mechsoot, but now that he had losrt his eternal bonner, he had a lttle wite dic.

"U will nevar rule the galgy" said Havov.

Hitler gave sniffel.

"Wellp said Hilga pulling her glock out "Lets finnish him off"

"No" said Haxox "if dis guy used 2 werk 4 neferox den he mite hav valublael info."

"like, were bing hailed" said aster.

It Was …..Skids, who was back on the SS Q-teem. And he said "Like doods , theres a shit coming out of hyperspace."

Theb from oot of hyperspace came oot some1 who was even worser t5han Spave hitler, it was…Barkak Obubble.!111.

AN: hay guize, im sowwy dis chapta took longa than usuial 2 rite, but it was a long freeking chapta, and if u loke space hilter don't worray, dis isn't da last wev seen of him. But das not until l8tor in da story. Be sur 2 like fav and sudcrub 4 moore and lefe good revioows if u liked.


	15. Cha 15: Da Exicutive Branch strikes bak!

**Chapter 14: The Exicutive branch strikes bak!**

AN: The title is a ster wars reference)

"Dood, were bieng heialed " said spips to Skunch the monkee.

"yup" went Scrankch.

Spif went ovet to the view screen an swithed it on.

"Greetongs" said president Barax Obubble "Mi name is presidanrt Barax Obubble, an I dictated tat it wood b esier 2 kill u awl myself, rather dan sent bonty hunmpers aftor U."

"WAT?" yelled Skrunk "Y wood U do tat!?"

"Bcuz you killed mi favorite duther!" replaced OIbubble in angere.

"dat wusnt us dood" said Spifs. "It was Haxox, he was the 1!"

"2 bab" said obubbles "imma gonna suck u up in mi tractor beem, n' kill awl o u moddafrackers." Said Barax in a ghetto voice. And he activ8ted the beem and started sucking them toward him.

"Ha!" said scrunkh "the joks on U! Haxox isn't even on this ship, ur waisting ur thyme!"

"IKR" said skids "The onle 1 on the ship besides us is Havoxs' boyfriend Clank!"

And then sckunch got a dude-your-so-retatrted look on his faze.

"ORLY?" said Garox Omabble (the president)(

"Ya rlly " said Spipks Mcmarks (the sk8t0r) "Havox loves clak soooo much, that if anything wer to happin 2 him, then haciox wood do wateva it took 2 see clank agin!"

Skrech started crying at skids stoopidity.

"den I wall kipnap all of you and den Haxox wil hav 2 resQ you!"

"Oh yeah?" said Skids.

"YA" said Spca Obama.

"Darn….." said Skipes

- Dun dun dun -

"We hav 2 do something!" screamed Zoxox.

"No" said Gaget "It is a god think we got Hitlers swastika ship haz a cloking device onit, der no wai we can take on president Obubbles dreadnot, becuz it is the most powerful ship in the universe besides Neferous's superrobolazor." (Obubbkes drednot looks like a ster distroyA!)

"But dey have Clank!" screamed Haxoc.

"Don worray!" said Cybor 'well go after dem, I no wat its like to lose some1 close 2 u"

"Yeah " said Sigmond "well git Klank back."

"Y is the president doing this?" asked Qwerk "Shudnt he b moore fockused of stoping Dr. Neferious?"

"He should" said Havox "Butt he dosent care about protecting the peoples of the galxy, all he cares about is pushing his own agenga thru."

"Woow!" said Qwerk "he's the worst president evar isn't he Hacov?"

"He rlly is qwert, he rally is…." Said Havix smartly.

"look said Gaget the ship is leaving!" and then after sucking up the ss qforce Obubble's breadknot blasted into hyper-speed.

KLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANKKKKKKKKKKKKK!" yelled Havox-

The dooer bell on the SS Qforce rang. "Don't worray" said skips "I go dis"

Skip opened the door "WAddup?" he sed

Der was over 100 Galactic ragers from the game w8ting 4 him. And they all jumped on him and started beeting the shit out of him. "Ow" said Skids.

"Stoop resiting, muddafacker!" yelled the rangers as they beat the tar out of him.

But while skids waS being raped by the popo, Skrunch sneeked out past them on2 obubbles dreadnot.

AN: Hey u guize, dis is gonna be mo last chapta B4 school starts. I have a politics clas 2morrow :C. Speeking of poltics, derz gonna b a lot of subtle potilical comintary hiden throout dis story. I mite rite a chapta 2morrow if the lecture is boring, dey neva talk about improtent stuff on da 1st day.


	16. Chapter 16:Da 1 i rote in politics class

**Chapter 16: The one I wrote in politics class.**

**AN: hey guize! Class 2day was jest us going ova da sylibis so I cud rite this wile tha teecha was talking lol. I wont b able 2 rite a chapta tommoraw thou, cuz the bitch exxepcts us 2 reed a 32-page chapta of the textbook! WTF? Anywei here swat I rited. This chaptas a littles personable.**

"I've locked mi father up in the brig." Said Helga.

"Good" said Cyber. "The sooner we learn to control this thing, the sooner we can go after Calnk."

"So you've loked ur father up in the bridge?" asked qwek.

"Yes…." Said Helda

"Well ive ben bad 2." Said qwerk "I think I ite need 2 b punished" he then pulled out a pair of pink fuzzy hamcuffs and a bullwhip.

"oh mi!" said heglo as her nipples perked up "I mite b willing 2 disciplin u, so u don't end up like mi father."

"Can you do that somewere else?" axed Cyborg "Havox and I are tring to figure oot how 2 fly the ship!"

"K, finr" said qwek "Gayhud!"

And so he and Helfa went down 2 the ship brig so they culd fornicate.

But when they got doewn there they saw…GAGET AND ASTER DOIN' IT!11…..AND HITLER WAS WATCHIN!11…..AND MASTICATING 2 IT!11

"dankler horutio dumpkoffs!?" yelled Helgo, which was Valkerie 4 "WTF R U Doing U Mudderfaggers?"

Qwerk's election shrivled up like a raisen left on a car dashbord at da site of the homosexual gay butt sex.

"No W8!" yelled Aster, who was on botton. "IM noawt geh, I swere I thought he was a woman!"

"and I don't like having things put in mi butt!" yelled Geget.

"I cant believe it!" said qwerk and Helga. "all dis thyme we trusted u, and u went a betrayed us by goinfg and being a buncho queers. U make mi sic."

"It's nawt fcuking that!1" Sad Aster "I wasent always like dis, tho its hard 2 explian I wasent born dis wai!"

"WTF do u meen?" asked Qwert confuiosedly.

"Since I joined the Q-foce, no one has been nice 2 mi, and treated mi like how as a lombax ougt 2 b trated except 4 Gaget. He's the olny 1 who repsacts mi. Awl mi life ive ben a smuggler who works alone, butt noaw, for the first thyme in mi lyfe, I gots some1 who luvs mi."

Big bluppery tears started to sell up in qwerk and Helo's fazes. "OMFG" said Helfa "that's soooooo fecking sad. I dint tink of it dat wai11!"

"You understand!" asked The faggots.

"It may be a crime against nature and an aboration in the site of gahyud, butt if ur doing it bcuz u luff eachother den its OK." Sed capt qwert

"Yay" said the queers. "lets have gay buttsex 2gether naow in a glorius 4wai!1"

"hell No!" said Qwerk "Im 2 str8 4 u, have fun fagolas." And then he and Welga left the brig to find another place to mak luv.

(AN: Aster and Gaget r gai now cuz they started watching My litlee pony IRL, seriously guiz it's the worst show evar, and the worst port is that Aster has a fetish 4 it, srsly its digusting. Were still frends 4 noaw butt only becuaz we play magic: the gathering on Fridays. I think ther was gonna be a lessin her about bein gay or sumthin but I cant rememba wat it was.)


	17. Chapter 17:Crash Landin on Planit Skyrim

**Chaprter 17: Crash landing on planet Skyrim!**

Havox an Cyborg had figgered out how to fly the Swatko ship and wer using its hperspeed boosters to fly 2 the place the profit, JZ, had told them 2. The mystical planet SKYRIM!

Meemwhile Gagert and AStard were down in the brig doin it. Gaget had just blown his lad in astars butt, and Hitler was still polishing. (it gits harder wen u git older.)

"Mi turn said Aster "I want a turm 2 stick mi thing in ur butt."

"I dunno" said Gaget "I have a very sensitive ass, I get butthurt reel easlily. ( take that u fgt).

"plz?" asked Aster.

"K" said gAGET

And so Aster started to put his thingee in Gagets U-no-whut when sudenlee…..he felf something cold. "OMFG, WTF is in ur asss? He asked.

"WUT?" said Gaget"ders nutin in mi butt."

"Yes der is" sad Aster "I can feels it"

So ASterd thrusted herd and put his glock as far in as he cud. "OMFG" he sad with exstristly as his glock discharged rite in Gagle's butt.

"I fckuing think I got it." Said aster as he slowly pulled his glock out.

"Wut is it?!" asked Geget.

"I don't know. Wut do u tink it is?" he said holding a small metal DISK up.

"OMG" said Geget "dats a traking device, butt what was it doing in mi butt?"

"Some asshole must have put it der." Said Aster.

"Ya" said gegert "butt who?"

Spoace Hitler smirked from the shadows…

8====================================================D(traking device)

The swastika ship dropped out of hypertron.

"We R rite above planit Skyrim" said Cyborg. "It's a class-6 planet. Dat meens it's protected bi galactic law, and wi cant show dem anee of our technology."

"but den how r we gonna go down on da surface?" asked Hacov "Wont dey no dat were not natives?"

"We mite be able 2 pass 4 short Kajittes" said Cybre "But lukilee, we hav axess 2 holo-guize technologee, so we cin disgus ourselves as the plabnets natives!"

"Cool" said Havox.

Then Aster and Gaget came onto the bridge, dey was butt ass neked and drippin in sweat. "Um hey," said aster "We have a fkunig problem."

"Wut izzet"? asked Cyber.

"I found a traker device in Gagetys butthole, some1 haz traked us here!"

"Wut?" said Havoc.

"Butt who culd have had an opertunity to put a traker up der.?" Asked Syber.

"It must have bin….. Dr. Neferox" Said Havox.

Then sudenlee from out of hypertspeed behind them came a drednot ship. It was….DR. NEFERIOS!11

Neferious came on the viewscreen 'Ya'll mudafakkers toutght yall cud git away from me. Mayun! Yall lomabaxes must be cuhrazy."

"What do you want nefarious?" Said Havox.

"Well wut I wanna no i in charge of space hitlers' ship, mayun he and I used 2 go 2 hi scool 2geter b4 I dropped out."

"We has defeeted hitler" said Gaget "We r now in control of the ship"

"Mayun! Poot sum pants on squshee skum, yur makin' mi sik just lookin at yur tinee weiner." Sed neferox

Gaget Snarled.

"Anywai" Neferox contined "Lets git down 2 biz, the onlee reson I hasn't blown u 2 squisee heven is bcuz I don't want agent Calnk ded. Give him 2 me and mebee we cin negotiot." 

"No Wai, Clank stays wit us" Havox buffed.

Sudenlee Lawrence came into Nefreous's room and said "Hey M8 hav u seen wats on da news?"

"NO!" screamed Neferox "wut izzet?!1 I aint got time 4 da news unless im in it!"

It was…Pesident barrax obubble! And he had Clank! And he said "To the terrest known as 'havox', I has kipnaped yur waifu, and unless u tern urself in in 1 week imma gonna pop a cap in his bitch ass!"

"CLANK!" Scramed Havox.

"Well well well" said Neferox "Looks like you don't have a barginonig chip after all"

"Lolz, they ttly dontz" said lawence

"Well, shit" said Aster.

"Time to die squsee's" sauid Neferox, and then he laffed so hard that his magic radiohead started playing "Raedy 2 die" by Andrew WK. (Look it up you faggit)

And then neferoxs drednot fired its guns at Swastaship and the big ship lost altidtude and started falling towards Planet Skyrin.

Lawrence smaked neferox across the faze and his radiohead stopped playing "MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA" he said. "Now lets finish dem off"

"Yeah" said Lawrence. "Imma ch4rgin' up the lazer cannons naow, man dis is ganna b sik."

But then…the Galagtic Rangers from the 3rd game showed up in der own spechips. "This is a class-5 planet, u cant b here" said the Rangers.

Neferous got angree and his magic radiohead strated playin "Fuk da police" by angree blak guys. (Srsly, fuk em' I got a parkin tiket last week. How was I supposed to know that oyu neede a permit 2 park in college parking lot, dey shuld no im going der.)

"U wut m8?" said Lawrence and he fired the lazers at the galacticeic rangers and blowed up one of der ships. "Git Rekt u Skrub, LOLZ"

But then the galga rangers shot bak and disables neferious's drednots's shields.

"O shit" Said Lawrence "KK, lets callit a draw, no re" and neferoxs drednot blasted off into hyporspeed, while the Q-teem's swatiship falled helplessly towards Planit skyrim!

AN: im tinking about riting anudder fallout famfiction. Watta you gyuize tink about dat. Lemme know. And don't worray about skrim being here, dis isn't a crossova. I just thought it was a cool name 4 a magic planet. LOL. Be sure 2 like fav and sub a leeve gog reviews if u liked.


	18. Chapter 18: Havox's Destinee

**Chapter 18: Havox's destinee **

Havox pulled himself out of the rekage "Iz everyone Alrite"? he said.

Cyber and sigmond were holding eachother titely "Yes were fine."

Havox Looked around for Aster and Geget. He found them behind a control panlel. Gaget was fine, butt Aster's Balls had been ripped off. Again!

"Aw, sheyit!" Swore Aster. "Not fkucing again,"

"Well need 2 get him 2 a docter." Said Gaget.

"Good idea:" said Cycer "Butt, the doctor wont b able 2 oper8 on him if he wears a hologuize."

"Dang!" Ur rite" said Gegert.

"Butt u said we might b able 2 pass him off as a migit." Said Havoc.

"O yeh" said Cyber "I 4got lol"

"ok" said hacov "well split up. Gaget and I will take astard into town so he cin see a docter, and you tri seeing if u cin find QWert, helgo and hitler. Also see if you can find our ship, so we can get of dis planit when we're dun. K?"

"KK" said Cybor and Sigmond similtaniously. Dey were n'synch just like clank and Havox were. It made havox hapee, sad and angee a little 2 see them so happy, wile knoing that the evil president had kidnapped Clank.

Gaget and Havox were walking through the woods. Aster was whining, thankfuly Havaox had found a beast of burden 2 carry him.

"What kind of creature is this?" asked Havox.

"If I remember colledge correctly, this creature is called a 'Porse'"

Aster was sitting on the horse with a retarded smile on face, it looked like he was tring to hump it with what was left of his mangled genitalai.

"Ive herd they make ppl dumber" Csyber continued "No plantet with a lotto porses has ever risen above class 4."

"It's perfect…." Said Aster as he drooled like a retard on da horses mane. "I tink I luv it…."

Then sudenlee…there was a guy in front of them!

"Hi" said Havoc and Sybor.

"Hi" said the guy (Who was a human, and Havox and syber looked like humans as well}

"Are you a docter?" asked Havox.

"Yeah" said the dude "Hay wats that ting?"

"Dis is our frend" said Havox "He's a migit and his balls feel off"

"KK" said the man "I'll take you to mi magic tower, so I can heel you"

Cybor rolled his eyes and whispered to Havox "Lolz, this gui thinks magic exists, mabe we shudnt trust him with Aster's nutz"

"Mebe not," said Havox "But he's r only leade."

"follow me" said the guy.

"kk" said havoc "BTW what iz ur name?"

"My name is Marion T. Bisciutmeyer" said the guy. "now lets go 2 the tower"

Marion took Aster into his magic tower, and Cyber and Havox followed.

"Imma set him down on da bed" saib bisciutman.

"kk" said havox.

Then 2 havox and cybers' surpise, marion shot a beem of magic out his hand and lit a lantern with it.

"NOWAI!" said Havox. "He is magic!"

"wat?" said Marion "havnt u evar seen a wizaerd B4"?

Marion pulled down Asters pants and inspected the remains of his tinee glock.

"imma GONNA cast True Site, becuz im not familiar with his anatomy" said Marion. What Havox and Cyborg didn't no was that that spell let ppl see throught illusions.

"Ok, Wizaerd" said Cybor.

Mariio looked down at Aster's tummy and muttered "weird! This dosent look like the anatomy of any Kajit I've evar seen b4. Mebe if i…."

And then he looked up and saw Havox and he said "By Talos, (Which is Skyrimimese for OMFG), it's…You!"

AN: Skool thought it was goonna poot mi down. School was wrong. New chapta iz here bitchez. Be sure 2 like fav and sub if u like. BTW Aster and I are no longer frends, cuz that basterd stole mi wrath of gawd. Fux u aster.


	19. Chapter 19: Sux it, Asterd

**Chapter 20:Suck it, Aster!**

"Wat do u meen its me?" asked Havox.

Take off that silly disquize so I can see you with mi own 2 eyes" said maroin.

So I did, and he sed "Fascinating" Said Marion "They said I was crazy. That mi prediction cudnt be troo. That the half-migit, half machine kajit couldn't exist, butt now ive seen it wit me own eyes. The 1 who is destined 2 save Skryim."

"dats nawt wut dis piece of paper sez" said Cyber pointing at a scroll on Morions desk.

"oh, dats a prophecy about the Dovaking. Every1 else thinks he's the 1 whose gonna save Sykrim, butt I think he's just an ideoit."

"Y?" asked Cyber

"Because he finds dollies 4 kids, and weeds 4 alchemests and fites lame bandits instead of saving da world. Also his helmet looks stoopid"

"Wow! what a loser!" said Cyber.

"IKR" Said Marion in a way very similar 2 skidds.

"That's all well an good, butt do u think u culd fix mi fkuking balls naow?" Whined aster like the little bitch he was all along.

"KK, Fine" said Marion and he waved his magic wand and said the words "Egenrateray Allsackbay" and Asters genitals came back.

"Yay" said Aser, who then tore off his cloves and ran out side, stroking his new sausuage pancake.

Tell me about the prophecy" said Hacoc.

"Well, according 2 da ancient texts it'll be a migit of steel and fur who'll save da world from the terrabal and mitee Deathwinfg Da Destroya" Expalianded Mario "an if yur gonna do that I'll need 2 see how much dragon magic u no"

"Drafgon Magic, wuts dat?" asked Hacon

"It's da magic yull need in order 2save da world, lets start wit sumfin simple, da FUSRODAH!" and he yelled it so loudy that a rat that was hiding in da corner of da room exlploded in2 100000 pieces.

"Woa, how'd u do dat?!" asked Cyber.

And then Mario said "I just tol you, its dragon magic, now u you tri it, dragon-slayor."

"ok" I said and yelled "fusrodah!" but nutin happened.

"By the mightous curves of Talos (dats the olny gog I remember from dat game lol) WTF was dat?"

"I don't tink I cin do dragon magic" said Havox

"Ur kiddin me." Said Marion"even tha Doobakin nowes how 2 do the fusrodah and he's a pusee-ass bitch!"

HAvox got al ittle angree at the acusuation "den mebe im not the one destined 2 save Skrim agtor awl."

Den they all heard a loud moaning noise outside.

"WTF was dat?" asked Cyber.

Lets find out" said Havox.

They all walked outside and they saw…Aster, with his newly regenerated painis in da porse's butthole!

"Aster! WTF is wrong with you?" Screamed Cyber.

"Ya!" said Havox.

"I cant help it u guize, dis is damost beautiful creature ive evar seen, and imma gonna fcuk it" Said aster as he ground his sasuge.

"yo, das a reel bad idea" worned Marion

"Fuk u man, I do wat I want…" And the porses butthole clenched up, ripping Asrets' penis off….again!

"OFMG!" Screamed Aster like the little bitch he was all along.

The horse started kiking around with Aster's junk still stuk in it. And then….It kiked in the face and he fell off the cliff behind him and his head spleattered like a watamelon when it hit da ground.

"Serves you rite you fagolola" Said marion with a dismissive look on his fase

"Yeah he really was a queer and a loser." Said Havoc " I cane blive we used 2 hang out with him."

"IKR" said Mario 'I cant believe any1 wud find a hoerse attractive, dats da most desgustin thing ive evar herd off, its an abombination against the 12 gods o Skyrim and the gods of any other realms that exist, hes bettar off ded"

Fo sho" said Syber.

"Well lets hed bak 2 da ship and chek on Geget" said Hacov

"KK'" said Sbore

"By Marion, sorry I wasent da 1 da prophecy talked of, mebe yull find him 1 day." Aster waved godby.

Meenwhilwe, 100's o miles awey, Space hilter stumbled throu da wilderness of SKhyrim, he clenched his tummy tightly because he had been shot. By his own daughrer! But no matter how much he tried he cundt bring himself 2 h8 her, bcuz she was hiz dather, even if she was a bitch!

"Crap!" Thought Hitler 2 himslef "I tink im dieing"

Hitler wandered inside a cave, hoping 2 find some unused nanotech crates so he could not die, instead he found…..THE SECRIT ENTRENCE 2 THE BAD GUIZE FROM THE GAMES LAER!1

Der were 2 gaurdes and they were both wereing gay red robes. An one of dem sed "Who r U?"

"I ask da quisetions around here!" repried Hitler

"Oh ya?" said the guard drawing his sword

Then hitler disinterested him with his heet gun. "Ya!" he said

Then the eyes of the other guard widened, not from the death of his gay butt lover, but from the site of space hitlers non-human appearance (Bcuz hes a velkery rememba?). "Forgive my colleges ignorance, mi lord, we dint relize it wuz u awl along please, let mi take u 2 see our leader.

"K" said hitler, and he followed the guard down the cave hallways full of other creepy cult guiz in gay red robes.

"Who R u guize?" asked Spacehitler

"Were da Crimsom Dawn" Relaped the guard "we started out as a gay S&M club, but wen da church started conedeming being gay, we decided 2 destroy da world"

"Wow!" said Spitler joyfully, like it was 5 days till Christmas "how r u gonna do that?"

"Our necromancer's have spent the weekends of the last century reanimating the body of the dragon god…Deathwing!"

"Waoh!" said Hitler.

"And wen the reicarnition of deathwing comes bak, hell destroy da world and make it a place only the gays can have." Said the guard. "At 1st we thought it was this guy called the doobieking, but he's a little-dic, brown-nosin, googie-2-shies. But dis is where u come in"

"Howz dat?" asked Hilter in confuscion

"Don't worray, its simple" Sed da guard "Were ganna see if u r who u say u are. And den if u ar den were gonna start da ritual-magic-thingee that restrore yu 2 ur troo prower."

"and how do I prove who I am?" asked Hitler.

"Its easy…" Said da guard, as he led hitler 2 da antichamber were da leader, James Cameron, and da rest of his gay cult was hanging out.

"Were gonna put u throo….. DA TRIAL BI FYRE!" Yelled Cameron.

Hitler gulped and sed "Wutz dat?"

"It basiclee meens we just wanna see you breethe fire, cuz only pple with dragon blood can do dat."

"Ok" said Hitler "Can you give me 1. Min. 2 prep?"

"KK" said J. K.

Hitler ran 2 one of da side rooms and pulled from his poket a pack of his favorite candy…..RED HOTS! Der was even a sturgeon's warning on da bak warning ppl noawt 2 take moore than 3 at a time without a bukit o wata handee. "Here goe nutin" thought Hitler. And he gulped the entire pakit down in 1 gulp.

He then ran in2 da antachambre breethin fire so intense that it singed da eyebrows of all da gay cultests.

"It is him" said Kameron "Our savior haz returned."

Hitler started gaspin and puffin, like he had been smoking crak 4 the last 50 yrs.

"Don't worray mi lord, we'll git you out of yur weak human body, and in2 ur troo form!"

"And were iz mi troo from?" asked hitler.

"Itz behind dis curtain!" said cameero and then he pulled a lever that made the curtain drop.

Then Hitler got a boner.

AN: Hey guize, sorry im l8 wit da chapta. Ive been busy wit skool and stuff. Anywey, heerz da new chapta dats a part of da Syrim ark. The next few chatas ive got planned are extremely scary and vilent. I tink I mite hav 2 kik da fic up 2 an R rating if I rite dem lik I hav planned. WTF do u guize tink? Leeve me a comet wit fedbak. And b sure 2 like,fav and sub like I no u all has been. KKTNKZ. Conichiwa.


	20. Chapter 20:Trubble reers its uglee hed

**Chaptoer 21: Trouble reers its uglee head**

Havox and Ctyber left the tower degexteredly. "Man. I rly tought it was gonna be mi destinee 2 be the troo king of Skyrim, just like rabbi JZ said."

"Ders no reason u cant b" said Cyboer "Why don't you ask the current king if u can have his job?"

"Cyber….." said Havox "…..Thats a brilliant idea! Of course he'll let me be king when he sees im the legwendary half-migit half-machinie."

"dats da spirit" said Cyber "and look were at da ship rite noaw." And da ship wuz der

They were at the ship rek and Gaget and Helga and Qwerk and Simon were there. Gaget had even found the mileniounm falcon, which is mine now becuz Aster is dead (Fuk u man).

"R u guize alrite?" asked Havox.

"NO!" screemed Helga "MI DARLING QWERK ISNT ALRITE! HE WAS HERT IN A FIREFRITE WIT MI FATHER11!"

Havox glanced over and saw Sigmond wraping a band-aid around qwerk;s middle finga. "It hurts like a bitch, but I'll pull throo, no doubdt." He said

"OH QWEK!" said Helaga

"OH HELga" Saed qwerk.

And then they had sex.

"K" said Haxox "when u2 r done cin we all take da mileniom falcon 2 da capital of Sktrim and ax da emporor if I can be king?"

"Ok" said qwerk, whos blaster had already overheated "I was almost done anyway."

"hes a man made 4 on da go!" said Helga sexily as she Orgied.

Sudenlee….a buncha doods with bows and arrers came outta da woods an surrounded the Q-Team! There leader steped fowad. He was a guy in blak leather, with blond hair like ratchet's,butt only on his head and beard, and wering a tabard with a big bloo bear onit. It was….Ulfric Stromwalker! (the rebel guy frum the game!)

"who r u?" asked Havix.

"Im Ulfric Starmwakler." Said Ulfirc "Are you the dragon-slayerz?"

"Dragon?" wats a dragon?" said Qwert.

"Itz dat big ass body behind you, you retard," said Alfred pointing towerd tha crashe swastaship "Did ane of u killit?"

The group paised 4 amonent and then Cyboer said "Yes…."

The archers cheered "all hail da dragon death dealers!" dey cheered

"WTF R u doing?" whispers HAdoc to Cyver.

"Fuffilin your destinwe " he said.

"let me take you to da castkle stromwalka" said ulric "so we kin celebrate"

But, When dey got to da castle, der was nutin left but a smolderin rouin.

"WTF happened?!" said Stromwalker "Its all gone!1"

"eeyup" said one of his bandits.

"It's musta been those dam imperioals, dey finnaly found our sekrit base!" Sceamed Erlrick angrily.

"Mhmn" said anodda rebel

Then from outta da woods came General Tulip and a bucha imperial stromtroopas!

"Look it's the rebels who musta destroyed fort Anol lets kill em!" Said Genral Tuplil

"I dunno if da rebels did it" said one of the stromtropers "The entire for was completly gone"

"Fuk u, Tulip, I dindt brek yur shit!" screamed Ulric

"NO" screamed Tulip "FCUK U!" and the he derw his sword and he ran at Ulric.

But Ulrick stuk his sword out at length, knowing Tulip would stop insrtead of striking him.

He didn't.

Both mens blood flew amazingly troo da aeir, they looked at eachother with there diying eyes. Ant then they collapsed 2 the geonde on top of eachotha in a way that was more than a little suggestive.

The rebels and the imperials stared at their ded leeders bodies.

"Truce?" said the stromtroppas 2 da rebels.

"K" said the rebels. "Truce"

So they all sat bown 4 dinna, they was havin beans, nutz and susages.

W8 a minute!" said one of the stromtroppas. "Ulric and tulip was the only heirs 2 da trone. If emporer picard dies, den whos gonna be king?"

"Don't worray" said 1 of da rebels "Emperer picard aint gonna die, lol"

Then an impera;l messenger came in on a horse, all the lomaxes shifted away from it. "Breaking news. this Justin, Readall about it! Empoerer Picard Assassin8ted bi the crimson dawn clut!"

Then the sun went down!

-Dundundun!-

AN: Hey guysee, herz da newist chapta I rote. I hop it wasent 2 vilent 4 you, but Skrim is a M rated game. You don't hav 2 worray about vilence in da nex chapta, cuz dat 1's gonna be about poltics and stuff.


	21. Chapter 21: Da wiserd consel

**Chapter 23: De Wizard Counsel**

Havox and his frends all got in da milenioum falco and dey had and flew it 2 the outskirts of "Imperial citee" da capital of all of Skyrim. In a place very far awey so it wudnt be seen.

Helga and Cybor put on der hologuizes and started walkin toward da gates of da big citi.

Durin da walk they got al sorts of werd looks from da peepls that was farming the area.

Wen dey got to the gates, dey were closed and da guards stopped them. "Who r U?" dey sed.

"I'm havox" sed havox, "me an mi frends need 2 go in2 da city."

"2 bad" sed the guards "The wizard meetin is gonna start soon, only ppl who r wit the wizards can come in."

"Darn….." saed havox sadlee.

Then he herd a queer little voice calling his name…..Havox turned aroun and it was MARION!

"Marion" said Havox "WTF R U doing here?"

"Im hear 4 the wizard meetin doods,I help 2 decide who da new emporer is gonna b now that the entire lyne kiked the bukit."He exploned

"Das gonna be me." Said Havoc.

Mario gave a little smirk "You may or may noawt be da savioer of Sykrim, butt idunno if yur king material."

"Well cin u get us in2 da city aneway, its importian." Asked hovx

Marikon thot 4 a monet. "If I can show u 2 the wizard councle. dey may find moore validity in my claem dat ur the troo saver of skrim. Den ill let u in."

"Deel." Said Havox

Havox was amazed by the fact that this primitav, porse-infested, retarbed society had managed to build sucj an amazing city.

Mario took his seet in the wizard counsel hall.

All the odda most powerful wizerdz wer der 2. Including Ablus Dumbledore, Merlin, vlodemort, gangalf, suroman, docta strange, jace da ming scuprer, urza, Severus Snap, merasimus and som otha ppl 2.

"May I hav ur attention plz." Announced an announcer "Presentin' his honor, da leader of the mage coulcil, the amamzing Hamnible Trevon Marquez.

Then walked in a big blak negro in fancy wizard robs.

"Alright, erry1" he sed "since our gret ol' leeder got a cap popped in his assho' Ay prupose dat I becum da neu leeda' o' Skytim. All 4?"

No one raised der hand.

Then Hanibble totally flipped his shit. "Yall muddafukers ar jus' voting dat wai cuz im blak izzat it?"

"No." said Gandalf "It is because we believe in these times of crisis that Skyrim needs a leader with wisdom and authority."

Haninle threw his robe 2 tha groun "Bitchnigga, R u sayin I don't gotz any of those."

"I don't dedect any" said Jase. (hes a physic)

"Imma kill all you mudda….." and then he started frothing at the mouth wile he hada sezeir .

"may i say something"? said Mario

"You have the floor" said Docta S.

"TY" sed Mario "as u no, the time of dragonz, as 4told bi propepcy is at hand, and the duvaking does not appear 2 be rizing 2 da challeng."

"So wut u porpozin?" asked Vlodermont.

"I proplose the we train this kajitte" he jestured toward hamox "To be the savior of skirm."

The mages turned 2 eachotha and started talkin. But saurmonman was inimpressed. "This kajit, it looks like a mutated abobimation." He said.

"Mebe." Said Mareon "But da propechy sez…"

"The prophecy say what? Asked saurimon "That a Mutant, migit, kajit will save us from the dragons. I find that hard 2 believe."

The mages nodded in ageree wit suaron.

"All this time we spend preparing 4 somtin based on a prophecy this ridiculos" he comtinoed "we shuld be focusing on da here and noaw, rather that what da futer might hold."

The mages nodded in agreement.

"Butt…." Mario sputtered

"Enough of this nonsecese" snapd saroman "Dragons has been extint 4 a millennia naow. They will nevar agen walk dis relm." He concluded.

The mages started 2 aplaude him , but was interrupted from a loud roar.

"WTF WAS DAT?" screamed Sauroman. Jace was sitting der in shok, lookin stait ahed. (hes havin a vison)

"Wat is it jayce?" sed Snap "Wat do you see."

Jace looked up "its 2 terrible 2 describe. Go 2 the tower if you want to see."

"Cmon dis wai" sed Gangalf pointin toward da stairs "Fly you fools."

"Can someone carry me"? asked merlin cuz he was an old guy and had tubble climbin sters.

"ill do it " said Helga.

So they all ran up the stairs to the top of empire city's spire. And they saw it in the fleids just outside the city, it was …Deathwing!

AN: hey gusy, sorry if dis cha[ta was boring. I promis the nex ones r gonna be da sooper vilent ones. Stay tuned, cuz dethings gonna go 2 town on this town. Will havox and frends b able 2 sav the dai? Lik, fav and subrb and rite good revows 2 find oot!

C


	22. Chapter 22: how not 2 tren ur dragin

**Chaprer 23: how 2 train yur dragnom**

**AN: WORNING SUM OF DIS CHAPTA IS EXTRIMLY SCRAY AND VILENT! Viewer direstion is advisred! Peeps r goona git jaked in dis 1 so only reed if ur prepped 4 hardcrore vilecne.**

Deathwing was over a mile tall. His wingspan blocked out da sun. all the pezents in the nearby villages was smashed under his massive from. A full grown Skrinian barly the size of one of his claws.

"Citizens of the imperial city of planet skrim, hear me speak." Skyrim He spoke in a cool voice dat sounded lik benedict cumerbatch in da desperation of smag. "let me tell you a story."

The peeps in da city started to panick and tried to get da hell outta Compton. But a quick flick of deathwing's claws destroyed all o da brigs in an outa der.

"Now I have a captive audience. LOL" laffed dethwing.

Menewhil in da councel building.

"I told'jew. Aye toldja, eye toljew, I.." Ranted Marione like a conspiracy therorist who had just bin proved rite.

All the other wizards turned toward suaronman. "We said there was gonna b dragons, Why dindt you believe us?!11"

"Butt you guize said…." He spammerded

"This is no time to be pointing fingures." Said Cyber "I need 2 figure out wat to do."

Then he wisperd "Havox wadda we do?"

Havox thought 4 a minit and sed "I think we suld lissen 2 da dragon."

"Wat?" said all the mages, exapt saurombnan who said it was da bestest idea evar!

"Why r we doing dat?" axed Cybor.

"Were all trapped here, and if that thing wanted us ded, it cud kill us wit a thought. I say we find out more about it, see what it is it wants."

Deathwing started his story, it was so loud every1 in da city culd here. "When I was young I was very weak for mi kind. I was always bullied, picked on, esceccialy by this 1 kid, Jack azz McGee, the Lombax!" he growled.

"Da fuk izza lombak?" axed hannible.

"So 2 proove myself, I studied hard, bcame an intilectual, I eben rote masterful fanfictions dat won pultzer prizez 4 bein fine literatue. After mi home planet was destroyed in a soopernova, I was elected the leader of mi kind. For the first time in mi life I had power. And it was good, but it wzent enuff. Nothing made me happy, exept for one person, mah beootiful wife. So I cocequered moar and moar! But then in a terrible instance I lost her and I had nothing."

"It cant be said…." Said Helga "is that…."

"The only thing left was the painful shadow of her existence. So I devoted mi life 2 hatred and ebil. An I used mi power 2 do just dat. But I lost that 2. I had truly lost everything, but then, in mi farkest houre, I found the Crimson Dawn. A cult of foo's who believed I would give them the world on a silva platte. Ironicly enouth, they did make nice appitizerz." He said patting his belly "So did every other pathetic town between der an her."

Da ppl of impero city was all screemin like they was at a justin boeger concert now. They wer screems of absoloote terroer at wat they was gonna witniss.

"They Gave mi this new bodey. And now I am no longer a warlord. I AM A GAWD!" he roared so loud dat all the glass in the windows, in the imperal city flew apert.

"I now demand nothing less than for all of you 2 bow down and wership ME!" He said "But will you not invent your own nemes 4 mi. I will not use stoopid anumal god mythology names? You will no mi troo nam and dat is SPACE HITLER!"

Hlga and the Q-farce Gasped. "iT is him!" Yelled Helga

"Who?" asked Dumblydum "You know the dragon?"

"He's mi father." Said Hegla.

"Exellent"! yelled meraseamus "we've got his daughter! We can hold her hostage and then he wont dare atak the city!."

"Nu-uh. hell take it as an excuse to destroy the city." Said Helga

"Well, den wat are we gonna do?" asked Cyber.

"Were gonna need a pan. Hitler becoming a dragon-god cint end wall." Said Hacom "Cybor, can you contact gegeit on yur pup-boi."

"yeh!" said Cybo.

"den tell him to bring da mileniom falcon 2 the city, away from the monster, and 2 flt low. Marion will us his magic 2 send up a flar to letem no were were at. KK?"

"KK" sed cybo and mario

"What are we going 2 do? Weve herd his speech and he's still gona kill us!" said merlonm "That monser is dustroyin da city!" He pointed out the broken widowe. SpiceHitlerDeathwingmon was knokin over trees in da park with his massive claws. Crushing all da tree-huggers and hippies.

Der was a long silence, aside from all the mayhem going on outside.

"I culd talk 2 him." Said Helha

"You cant." Said Scyber.

"Last time we defeated him it was cuz we mad him confront that deep down he still luvs me. We mite be able to do that this time!" arguesd Helfa.

"It's worth a shot." Said Havox.

"Whats the worst that cud go rong?!" asked Merkin.

"KK" said Hannibis "Less tri it. JACE! Getcho bitch-ass up here!"

Jace ran up da stares. Still tramutized from seeing hitler firthad. "Yes?" he said

"open a mind-link between dis bitch in here and dat bitch out der." Orderd hannabis

"ARE you crazy" asked Jace

"Bitch, do watcher' told or ill do your mom again." Said haniballs

Helga climed to the very top of the spire. Jace conce8ted on getting skype 2 opeen in deathwinf's brain. "Ive got a channel open between you to you can start talking."

Hitler was amusing himself by shaking the roofs of temples and smashing da prists unda his thumb wen dey ran out.

"Father!" Helga yelled in her mind

Hitler stopped what he was doing and looked around "Helga?" he said where are you?"

"Im on the spire on the talles building in da centre of town." She thought bak

SpaceHilterDeathwing put out his clawe and Helfa stepped on2 it. He held her tinny form up 2 his droconic eyes and sed. "It is you!" Said Hitler with a little smilr.

"Ya dad it's me. Wat happened 2 u?" said Helga

"Dint you hear mi worship speech?" said Hitler "Its great. Now I can force this entire planet to my bibbing. And the bestest paert, I am a 1-man force-o-nautur, no minions I need depend on, only slaves and fodder."

"dad" said Helga sincirly "you don't hav 2 do dis, I no derz still gud in u somewhere."

"Yeah….." said hitler "….problably in the small intestine, Cuz I ate a church lolololol"

"Dad! Im serious" said Helga.

"Well, im afreaid ur wrong!" said Hitler "Ive dedicated mi life 2 evil, and you DARE suggest that deep down, im GOOD at heart. Listen to me Hedla and lissen goog. The only reason I kept you alive is because you look a lot like your mother and I never though 2 take pictures of her wen she was alive. I exist to cause payne an misery to those I dispise, which includes this pathetic city!:" and den he brought his other hand down on da wall and tore a peace offa it.

Then he got up and started 2 walk away frum the city.

"Your leaving?!" Helga said in surmise.

"NO" said Hitler angrily as he set Helga down on a nearby mountaintop. "You doubt my commitmnert 2 evil. Theni wall show u just how evil I am. There will be other cities for me to enslave and subjig8. Nope 2day I kill every single bug in that city, while you watch, helplessly. Then tell me I has good left inme.

Helga cud onlee watch in horror as her fadder turned around back towards the city.

AN: Warnin da nex few chaptars are gonna b just as bab. So if dis one mad u puke ur pants in discust den don't reed da nex ones ether. B sure 2 like and subcroob and leeve good reviows if u didn't trowe up do. KKTHNKS.


	23. Chapter 23: Dragon Reprodution Rituals

**Chapetrt 25- Dragon repoductio rituals.**

AN :WARNING; DIS CHAPTER IS XTRWEMLY VIOLENT AND SCRARI. VIEWER DERECTION IS ADVISE. DIS IS IT, DIS IS DA CHAPTROR DATS THE MOST VIOLENTEST TING IVE EVAER RITED, ITS ASLO SEXILY EXPLITCIV FOR DRAGINS. WHILE MOS OF DA CHAPTAS IN DIS STORY ARE T RATED, DIS 1 IS M RATED 4 SURE, DON'T REED IN IF UR UNDER DA AGE OF 27.

DIS DISLAMA IS HERE TO SHOW U DATS ITS NOT MI FALT IF DIS CHAPTA MAKES U THROWE UP.

The imperial citizenz cheered as they saw Deathwing stomping away. "Yay" dey sed.

"She didit" said Sauroman happily "I knew she cud."

"I',m am unsure" saed jaxe "Im sensing a lot o distress comin fro da psychic link."

"Aw im sure ders notin 2 woray aboot, Deathwangs gon on ova to dat mountain" said Seroman "Now I dunno about the rest of you but I think we handled that pretty well, lets get drunk." He sed happilee

"Merasmus 2nds that" said marasmus in the 3rd persin

So havox, havox's frends, Mario and da rest o the wizard councel left the councel hall. They made small talk and joked about how they all amonst died but they dint.

But Havox cudnt help but feel uneasy as dey walked down Greem empiorer wai. And Jason felt da seme.

"You no" said Seroman "Despitie us not finding a replace ment emporer, id day dat 2day was a pretty good…."

Then a shadow loomed over the city again. From the north stood Deathwing. "Therews been a change of plans mortals. Insteed of subgegating you 4 mi worship. I will be killing all of you. But do nawt think I will giv u da mercy of a swift death. Im gonna take this city apart…. Slowly." And then death wing hitler entered the city his 1st step obliterating a larger part of the garden disctrict.

"Oh My FReeking TAlose" screemed seroman "I told u all we cudnt trsut that bitch. I told you. I toljew! I tol…."

"Silence you fool" said Snap "the dragoc is upon us". Deatwings massive claw entered the center of town and destroyed the upper floors of the counsle balding."

"Holy Sheyit!" screemed Voldemot

"We were almiost in that." said mareon.

Havoc turned 2 Cyber "iz the milenion falcin commin?"

"to the outskirts." Replayed Cyber

"Change of plan, have them pick us up directly, screw not showing tec to the locals." He said in a panic.

Deathwing picked up a building from the plaza labeled 'orpanage/kitten farm.' He craked the buldin in half and gulped down the occupants like skittles.

"That monster!:" said Ablus dumblydore

"IKR" said Merasimus "Hes even worse than me!"

"Eh, we're about the same" said voldimort. The councel glanced at him. "Oh,what? None of u hav ever murdered an orphan. No? just me? Ok…"

"We must save every1 that we can" sad Gangalf.

"No wai" said merasmius "city is screwed, every wizaerd 4 demsalves."

"We must stay and do ourduty 2 sykrim" said Ganfald "who's with me?" Only dumblodoe, jaze, dr.S , merlin and Maerio stood behind him.

"Fine" said Merasmus "See you in obluviion, itsprobbly safer ther than here. Anyway, Byee fools." And then all da other wizaerds teleportled away.

The remaning wizerds looked up to see the massive imperial prison towor shudder, then explode violently as Spacehitlerdeathwing's massive dragon painis burst throo it.

His blak scales glisted as dey was slik wit blod and his massice thingee slowly oozed magmea. (dats wat dregons have 4 seman)

"Head in2 the districts closest 2 the dragon and teleporp da ppls oot" ordered Ganhalf.

"Too l8! Yelled Strenge "look!"

Deathwinggs claws came down somewhere in the districts they were facing. His was now almost completely over the city.

"HE MEANS 2 CRUSH USS AWLL" screamd Syher.

"no." said Gandalf" he said "he wanted to do this slowly"

Instead, deathwing stood on all fours over tha city, it almost compltly bloked out tha sun, exept for one lite sourc frum abov, the lava drippin from his monolith, splasig in2 the trade district below.

The wizerds stared "WTF is he doing" muttered havox

Almost half amitite passed, and then…SpaceHitlerDeathwing plunged his 400 foot long dragon schlong into the cities market district! All the Buisnessmen, lawers ans stokbrokares were a viscious, repulsive slime. So ppl didn't notice much after the drogon liquefied them bemeath its massive dragon piller. Deathwank's chest rested atop what was left of the captital building, that wuz the only thing dat seper8ted da mages from DW's chest 20 ft abov dem. They could feel him brething.

"OH MI GAUGHD! HE'S HAVING SEX WITH THE CITY!111" screamed Cybor

"OH MI SAYETIN! I'M HAVING SEX WITH A CITY!111" Bellowed Deathwing

Deathwings sclond went deep in2 the ground caizing lava to burst from the ground in other districts. He started grinding hardr and gargder causing earthquakes and tremors across empirial city. In one terrible instant the entire trade district was swolloed up bi the might og deathwin's ever excanding dock.

The wizerds started teleporting ppls from the temple districts to the docks, so dey cud b loaded on2 transport ships and eveculate. Mation stayed with Havox and cyber so he culd shoot up a flare when Cyber herd that the dropship was getting clos.

They were finding it hard to find a safe place thoug, buildins wer colapsin, ppl was panikin, lava was burstin throo the streets. It was just another typical blak Friday.

Hitler began 2 drol giganting streams of acidic drool as he started the ogasm dat wood 9geddit) shake the fondetion of empire city. This drops splashed down in2 the temple district, where Havox was! One drop landed in the middle of the street, exploding any1 hit directly in meatee cunks, the liquid slpahbeck caut Cyber's arm, it started 2 diserntrote.

"NO! My pipboi!" he yelled

Marion quikly moved in2 cast resist acid, but the damage was done. His arm was mangle and his pipboi crapped.

"Now we cant know how close they are." Sed sybor

"Don't worray" said marion "ill just send up the flaer evry 5 minhs."

"AHHHHHHRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHH. I CANT HOLD IT IN ANYMORE. IM GONNA CREAME!" bellowed deatwing hitler.

His massive erection burst from the ground like a monolithe, displacing an entire city block. Geyserz of magma burst from the grung. A literal oceon of magma flowed from his massive noun, flooding the entire center part of the city.

It kept flowing and flowin it started to spill into other districs, buildings cat fire.

"OOOOOOHHHHHHHHH, I CANT TAK IT ENEE MOORE, IT FEELS SO GEWD! Panted Hitlerwing.

It flowed out so much and gev soooo mux xtasy dat he cudnt foxus on destroyind tha city. He slinked over to a nearby hill, rolling oround in joi like a kiitin on capnip.

Then he felf a bulg of jouy in his junk, it was even moore intesnse than tha lava. "Oh satan, wuts dis?" thought hitla. Its slowly worked its weay 2 tha surface, Deatwang kiked and flailed, carving great scars in tha landscape. Then from the tip of his mawnster painis, crawled out a fully grown, baby dragon with a 30 foot wingspam. Couse, to hitler it perched on his finga like a beeutifil butterfely.

"Did I do this?" asked hitler.

The dragon rmuzzkled him effectionatly.

"Heh." Said dethwinghilter "I guess Helfa's got a brother now."

But the feelin didt sto[p out of the tip of his massive manhood crawlded anudda…..and anudda….and annudda.

"Meby I should take a break." Thought hitler "let them hav a silver of hop b4 I chrush it….and them lol."

AN: I am so sorry….


	24. Chapter 24:Wat duz it take 2 git a ride?

**Chapter 26: wat duz it tak 2 get a cab thes dayz?**

WARNING! DIS CHAPRTEPER IS JUST AS VILENT AND SCATRY AS DA LASS 1. VIEWER DIERECTION IS ADVISED.

All da remaining wizerds were loadin ppl on the harbor in2 da shipps.

"Gogogogo. Move" yelled Gandalf "Strang, is der any survivors.?"

"yea" said strange

"this ones loaded! do than nex 1" he contined

"wheres tha dragon?" asked strange I haven't seen him in a while."

"I sense he is in tha hills to the NE" said jace (who is a psycic is cas u 4got) "his mind is full of joy and happiness."

"I guess he was to busy getin it up 2 worray about us." Said Dr. s. "BTW wheres Mario/n?"

"He and the outsiders are in the temple district, helpin civies." Said jace.

"ill go see if I cin help den oot" said strenge.

Marion, Cybor anf Havoc were in an ally way together. It was out of the way and the peples was makin der wai 2 tha doks.

"wheres he gone?" asked Cyber.

"Hes prolly toying with us" said Havox "itz 4 da best, it gives me more time to do mi plan."

"Do you suppose the milenioum flacon is neer?" axes mariot.

"probably" said ratchet "ready your flare spell."

Mario prepared flar.

"Ready…3..2..1…." said Aster

Then another spell flew in2 the air…and another and anudeer..

"Why r ppl casting?" caoplmied Syber.

"That's y, look!" pointed Facon. There were hundered of mini-dragons swarming the city. Every1 with axess 2 magic was casitn spells to fite dem off.

"GO MI CHILDEREN!" YELLED DEATHWING "FEED ON THEIR FLESH!"

"HES COMING BAK!" yelled some pleb.

People in the streets rushed in panic.

"Stay were we are." Said havox to marion.

"Hello" said strange riding up beside the allyway on a horse "need any hepf?"

Then a shoadow fell acros da stereps.

"STRANGE LOOK OUT!" yeled garion. But it was to late. Hitler;s claw came crasin down in the stert mashing strange and dozenz of udders to past.

"NOOOOOOOOOO!" yelld Mario dramasitcly.

"He's heading 2ward tha harbor." Sad Havoc. Then a mini-dragon flew outo deathwings slhong and flew rite toward Havoc!.

"Hacov!" look out " telled cybor.

But he was a fast draw a blasted the dragon apart with his guss rifle.

"That some sort of wasnd?" asked Mario.

"Somthin like that." Sed havox ccoooly

"I tolja youd get tha hangof magik" sead Mario enthusiasticly.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

"The dragon is upon us!" yelled Gandalf.

Dethwings massive claws came down on euther side of the harbor, but not direcyl on it. What did pass throo the harbor was deathwings 400ft mansicle, which ran into the lighthouse and shatrerd it. Merlin used his telephathy to catch da pieces and keeped hem frum hurtin any one. Gandalf focused his attention of fighting the mini-dragos that spawned as he passed over.

Deathhilter entered the water, his masicve wake casing many ships to turn ova.

"I would lik 2 thank you, wizard." Said deathwing "For pacagin mi food 4 mi."

"Ohno" said gangelf. And then with a flick of his tail, deathwing shattered the remaining ships in the harbor, as well as a good chikno the docks. He then picked up 2 of the escape galieons and proceded the eat them hole,as if they was twinkies, but they wernt, they wer ship.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

"Look" said Syber "Theres the falcon, it fighting the mini dregons!"

"Wats the point?" asked cybor "they'll never see us thru all the mayhem."

Then ablus dumblyfore teleported in with a fart noise. "Heyeyey, wats goin on?" he said.

"We need Jace to open a mind channel between us and that ship's piliot" Hacox pointed.

"That's nawt a ship." Said Ablis and Marion.

"Whatevs" I said "werz Jace.?"

"He is on 1 of da escap boats, he's prolly fine" said Dumblordeo. Then he turned and saw Dethwang Casualy toss jace's ship into his mouth and swallow in one guld.

His other claw was fursiosly pumpin his monster spawner at the docks, swarming them, mini-dragons were poping out by the dozens. "Die wizerdz" he smirked.

"Oh….."sed Dumblydore "darn!" (dumbydore isn't allowed 2 swer bcuz hes a schoold principle. I lerned dat in mi ethics class)

"We must help Gangalf an Ferlim" said Marion. "Im soory theres nothing we can do 4 your ship"

"W8" ses Gacvox "Wut about a flashy spell that's obvie not an atck, that would attract them. Do you now ane spells like dat."

"Um…" mumbled Marion "well…."

"Yes?" said Gavoc.

"Der is this 1 spleel I hav, but im a little emberased to show it awf." He explained

"You hav to do it" said Havoc. Marion paused. "Do it 4 Skrim. Marione"

"Your right…..I have to" said mariioon. And he pulled outta wand that looked like a big blak dildo and said the magika words "Rainbow Powa!" Then a hugely intenwse rainbow light shit up in the middle of the city, it passed thru the minidragons harmlessly. When it was finished it spelled out in brite rainbow leeterz the words "GAY PRIDE!"

"By talos…" said albis.

"I no, bein gay is illegal" said Marioon "But I cantchange who I am."

"No I understand." Said Dumplefore "Because, marion, IM gay 2!"

"Wat rlly?" he sedc in sohk

"Ya rlly." Said dimdlygum "Im also a pedo. Butt lets keep that between u and me."

"Meby wen all dis is ova, you an I can…." Asked Mario

"Mebey, well see" said dumbplorto ""4 nnoaew lets go sav Ganfalf."

Yeah!" said mairon.

The mileno falco came to the groung, guns blazing at the minidragons.

The door opened. Qwerf was flying and gerget was gunning.

"Yoo took long enuff" said Havoc.

"Yor a hard lomax 2 finde" said geget.

"So wats the plan?" asked Fwerq.

Havox pulled out his space soot and gravety boots. "the plan is, I stand on the outside of the falcon and try to irrit8 Hitler enuff 2 chase us. When he does youll go st8 up in2 space. He wont be able 2 breethm so hell die, and wel win."

"Hey! Dats good idea" said Qwert "I almost tought of the same thing."

"uh-huh" said Haocv "Lets go, time is running out 4 this town."


	25. Chapter 25: Da plan 2 kill hitla

**Chapta 27: Da plan 2 kill hitla**

Gangalf, merlin, marion and dublobore all focused ther magic on keeping the barrier up. They had run outa offensive spells, and were now focusing on keeping this bariior up to protect themselves and a few hunren civies from the fapton of mini's that endlessly spewed toards them from hitlers penis. "your time is short wizerds." Said Feathwang "Mi children will devour you."

All hop seemed lost….when sudenlee a magical flash came throo the air from the imperiol wizard academee. It pulsed throo the air, jumping from mindragin to minidragin and turning the minidragons to ash.

"Wat?" said HitlerDeathwing "NO! my children!

When the megaspell finished, evey single mini was ashed, rite down to the one budding of hitlers peach.

"Youll pay for that, wizard school!" He growled "first I just gotta taek care of this."

Hitla gradded his equipment with one claw and gave it a lil twist to switch from live dragonz to lava.

He then steped over the protective bullble and put his 80ft circumference peanis right above the bubble.

"Prepare yourselves!" yelled Ablis. Deathwing brought the full might of his caulk down on the bubble, he pounded it 20 ft in2 tha dit, 40ft,80ft anfter 20secsons of furious pounding ther was nothing left of the wizerds and their wards but a 300ft deep hole full of lava.

"The old tiker never runs outa power." Said hitler "just as it should be for a god." He got up and a few drips of his lava got in the bay and formed islands that would eventually become gay bar resorts.

"Nothing asserts authortity over another, by beeting dem with a painis." Said hitler "that's why I enjoy Rap so much."

Havox gasped. Eminiem and da rest of da OG's h8ted rap. The millennium flacon flew toards hitler. Havox was usin his gravity boots 2 stay on da ships hull

"And now it's yur turn academy." Said Daethwing as he stomped tards it, crushin whatever got in his wei.

Havox fired a shot from his gauss riffle at deffwing, but it didn't do sheyit, and he didn't envent notice.

"Get me closer to him!" yelled Havox

Deatwing trashed the roof off the academy, destroying the academies ivory towers.

Hitler glared at the terrified wisards "you thought you could oppose me? Insolance, this arogence must be punished." Then he grabbed a tower and emptied the contents into his gaping maw. He immedialty regretted thoug becuz it was a poitions lab and it tasted like alchemy ingrediants, including flax seeds and troll shit. That gave Deathwing an idea.

"You are nawt worthy of my pallet." He said turning around. "instead you may be worthy of mi latrine!"

"Oh shit!" said Havox, who fired a charged shot from his arm cannin.

Hitler saw it. But piad it no attention, he barly felt it. "ill deal with you later." Said raising his tail "And now….." Hitlers gigantioc buthole opened up and it started to rain literal cats and dogs…..and anything else he had eaten.

The milernium falcon flew rite by Deathwins nose, Havox fired a fully charged arm blast at less than20ft. Hitler sbnorted, but onceagain paid littlenotice.

The wet stuff out of the wey, a mountain size turd started to creed its way out of dethwangs buthole. "here comes tha SHIT!" he said unproffesionaly.

"I need to get closer!" yeeled havox

"We cant get any closer" wailed qwerk "well crash."

"Havox thought for a mometent "Do another pass, I hav a idear."

The mountain crept closer and closer to the academy.

The falcin flew pas hitlas face agin. But dis thyme, Havox jumped off the ship on2 hitle's nose.

"WTF is he doing?" Said Geget.

"He's being a hero!" said qwert "Like m… acutally I prolly woodnt do that. Its suicidal"

Hitler clenched his eyes wide shut, ass he prepared to drop his payload on the tinee figures below. Havox crawled along his scels, closer and closer to his left eye. He started charging his arm cannon above the maximum limit to the point where it started to overlead. "I hav 2 do dis." Thoght hacov "4 cLAnk"

"Hilter!" yelled Havox. Hiltaer open his eyes 2 see Havox awn his nose, just b4 Havox fired a 120% charged Crit-lazer in2 Dathwengs left ey, whictch explodend in a massive sprey of eyball liquid.

Deathying fell bakwaerds in pein. The turnd flew from his butt off-targert. Hitting tha bride 2 the academy, butt missing the academy its self.

Havox started fallin, he felt the rush of cool,cleen air rushing past his fuzzee lombax ears. "looks like im falling 2 mi death" he thought "I hope it was wurf it."

But then he saw Deathwing writhing in pain outside the cite "I guss it was. Not so smaug now are you?" he thought.

Then he noticed his left cybor-arm had been completlee destroyed. "I guess it was 2 mukh 4 it." He thought "I hop Qwerk and da others r ok."

Havox fell 4 amonst a hole minit, but he didn't screem, cri or anything. He was cool caml, breve and collectored.

Then, He stawped faling, he opened his eyes and saw that he was being magiclee held in da eir bi….. prefesoer Snap!

"Snape?" Said Hatox "wut r u doing here?"

"I couldn't just leve you guize hangin" he sed wit a simile "O BTW, it was me and a buncho the grad sttodent who got rid o the minis.\"

"TY" sed hacom.

"NP " said Snap

"FFS" said dethwing

"Can u send up a flare?" aked havoc "I need 2 get bak 2 mi airship."

"KK" sed sbnap and he did.

The falocn landed agin and Havox once agin climbed on tha roof.

"Havox OMG is ur arm ok?" aked Stber in concern.

"Well woray about that l8t0r" said Havox "look" he pointed. Deathwing was recovering.

Havox pulled out his specialized killstreek smubmachine energy pistol. "Do a flyby on him, I want his etenrtion."

"Ok…"gulped qwerk

Dethwing got up from the crater he made. With his good eye he saw the melieniom flacon flyin 2ward him. "HAVOX!" he roared.

"Dethwing!" he yelled bak as he strefed his eye sokit wit eneryy blasts "Y are we yelling?"

Buutt DW dindt hear him because he had his spece helmet on.

Dethwing lifted into da air and chased aftor the tinee dropship. Qweark started to fly the ship str8 up. Dethwanhg flowed thwem. All the wile, Havox was firing his SMEG at hitler, 2 minimal effect.

Rage boiled in deathwing hearth and 4 da 1st time sinse bcummin a dragon he breatherd 4rth a streem of fire at the milenioum flacon.

"This is gonna be it!" wailed qwert as da fireball closed in.

Havox had on last idea. He toosed aside his SMEG and removed hishalmet. Havox breathed and concentr8ted, he felt the heat of of the fireball getting more intese as it thretend to engulf tha ship, just b4 it did, hacov steped to the endge of the ship and muttered da word "Fus…."

"RODAH!" the shokwave generated was so pewerfulz thet it refrelected the fireball bak AT DEATHYING. BOOM! It went.!

"How!?" asked hitler as they continued to fly up.

"Because…" awnsered hamok "I, Havax, am the chozen 1, I am DROGONBOURNE!"


	26. Chapter 26: Da fall of Hitla

**Charptes 28: take mi 2 spece an bak.**

**AN: THIS STORY ISNT INAPROPRIAT LIKE ALL DA ONES B4 DIS SO U CAN REED IT IF UR UNDA 22. But bad tings happen to hitla in dis chapta, so don't reed it if ur a neo-nazi.**

The faclon Burst throo the layer of clouds that wuz Sjyrims atimosper, they were bak in spece. Havox put his spece helmat bak on.

"Cmon, you big dumb lug, take the b8.." said havox 2 himself.

Then Deathwings massive from burst form the clouds in2 space. Havok knowed that Dethwing wood die upo herer cuz derz no air in spece.

"Here comes the boom!" yelled Havox…but nothing happened.

Daethwing inhaled and tried to breath fire. But nothing came out, but he didn't sem 2 hav any heatlh promblems.

"How is he…"? asked geget.

"I AM A GAWD! Roared dethwang "I CAN BREAT IN SPECE!"

"wEll, poop" said Qwerk "I guess this means were screwed."

Deathwing oped his mouth 2 swallow the mielenium falcin hole.

"Fly. Gogogogogogo!" yelled cybor.

Qwerk moved the ship outta the way just before Hitlers teeth crashed down on them.

Gaget fired the cannon at him furionsly, but 2 lil' effect. Havox could only watch from the roof, he had no weaps.

Then in front of them, 2 galactic ranger star destroya's was in front of them.

"Cyber" said Havox "See if u cin hax0r in2 there coms."

"KK" he sed. And he did.

"Hey look!" said a Galaga ranger comms officer "It's the lomabax fugintave, and som bigass things chasin em."

"Wat suld we do?" asked the other ships offica.

"Well son, in mi Xperienc its beeter 2 shoot first and not ax question l8t0r." sed tha otha

"Oh, I see." Said the othet offica.

"Besides, do you no wat the bounty of dis foo is? 100000000000000000000000 Dollas."

"Holty crap! Lets blo his punk ass up!"

Then both ships started firing the full barrage at the mileniom flacov. Lukily it was small so all the shots miised and hit Dethwin instead.

"This thing hav shield?" asked Cybor.

"barely" saed gegert.

As the falcon approached the gap between the ster destrayas stopped firin.

"Don't shoot. Frendly fire" said an opor8tor.

"Yeah good,call" said the other "Can you image if we had accidently shot you down?"

"Yeah, lolol." Said the 1st oporpator. "then wed hav 2 take them down alon."

"and we woodnt have the glory of takin him down together." Sed tha 2nd

"or the reward money." Finished the 1st

Then there was a short burst of radio silence.

"Then they doth yelled "Take those fools down! Screw friendly fire!"

The stir destroya started takin shots at the ship, streeping eachothers hulls in the process. They were focusing on tha falcon soo much dey dint see the dragon twice the size of a staer destroyers approaching them at ram speed.

"out of my way! Fools!" said deathwing as he rammed himself between the two ships. The damage to both ship was catospropic and they effectively became ded in the wata.

"We may need some more help." Said the officer of the 1st ship.

"I agree" said the 2nd "lets call the prsdient and tell him the lomax is here. He can prolly take the monsrta down with his personal flagship 2"

So they called the presidents office, but Obubble wuznt der, instead they found demselves talking 2 Vice president Moe Ridon!. "Hello, this is vise-president Moe Ridon, wat do you need."

The officers started talking ova eachothers words and pointing fingers.

"Speek celery" ssaid Moe. So they did. "the lombax terrist is above planet Skyrim, u say? And ur ships are the only ones in the area?"

"Um…yes…."said the captians in manner similer to puppies being scoded for takin a shit on the living room carpet.

"Fine," said Ridon "Mr. president is busy granting citizenship to Argonians"

"But ain that congresses job?" asked one caption

"And aint argorians cannibils?" asked the other.

"Is it yur place 2 question da presidan?" asked Ridon angrily.

"no….."said the captians like puppies agen.

"Goog, now I personaly will take the presidetual flagsghip, the _Executiv, and _destroy the lombax and this so-called monster. I will be ther in 2 mins.

But wat da gelatic rangerz dindt no was dat Cyber da masta computer hox0r was lissening in on dem "the rangers hav another ship commin' in" said Cyber "iltl b here in 2 mins"

"Oh great " said qwerk trolling tis eyes "cuz we didn't hav enuff trounle already. Even if I do mangage to shak this ugly beast, the rangers will be on us lik clams na prostitute."

"Nice metawhore" said sybor sarcasticly

"Thankx said qwert sincirly.

"We could get them and da moster to fite eachother or somthin" said Gergert

"Yeah…. Or somthin" Asid Havox "Cyber, does you hav axeess 2 der navingation systemz."

"Yeh y?" saed cypor

"Where does the _exicititor_ exit hyrpertron? And when? Weenied the exact time?" imquiseted havox.

Qwerk violently swerved tha ship "cany yo cume up with a plan faster? He almost got us dat thyme."

"He;s exiting at these quardinentys in 28 seconds" said Cybor

"Qwerk! Xcan you get us to these quardenets at this ecaxt time." Said Havoc

"ill see wat I cin do" said Qwerk

Dethwing opened his maw widea shot forward with a burst of speed.

"This is it!" said qwerk. Then he started crying.

"just get us to those quardenents." Said gavoc thru clinche teeth

"Time to die, mortals" said dethwing He shot forward and the ship entered his mouth.

"3…2…1!" said Cyber.

with a thwum sound the bridge of the _executioner _appered rite b4 them.

"pull up!" yelled Havox.

Qwerk barly made the ga p between the exectuves brige and dethwings theeth.

"Theres the bridge." Said Gaget "but wheres the rest of it?"

"There" poainted cyber. The point of the ship was peiring out the bak of Deathwimgs nek. He made gurgling noises as the ship engins pushed the mangled chasis in deeper and derper in2 dethwings body.

Deathwings eye turned in2 a glar.

"OMfG! HES STILL ALIVE!" said qwerk

Dethwing closed his powerful jaws on the _executive. The ship shook, then exploded ih a massive firball!_

"Look out!" said Cyber rudyndantly as qwerk gummed it away from da explosion.

When the smoke cleared der was nothing left but dethwing's mangled body falling towerds syrim like a comic.

"We did it" said Havox "its over….we won!"


	27. Chapter 27: hail 2 da king bebe

**Chapter 20 : hail 2 dqa kink bbebe.**

AN: dis was orginnaly gonna b part of da previois chapta, but I got bored. Anyway I have midterns next week, so I prolly wont be able 2 upd8 at awl next week :C

Qwerg set the ship down just outside wat was left of empircity. The city was in bab shepe. The temple, trad and centor district wer cumpletlee destroyed. non of dem espaxped some form of major damage. But was improtentet is dat hitla was finnaly ded.

Havox expected da surverers wood be disorganized, but dey seemed to hav sum sorto leeder it was…MARIO!

"Marion" sed Havox in sock "I tought yu was ded. Dethwang crushed u wit his dock"

"Nope" said marion as-a meter offactly.

"How r tings?" asked geget "werz Aster?"

"O ya" said havos "He died wile we were finting deathwin, he was a troo hero." Havox lied cuz he dinrt want 2 hurt gegets feelings, cuz he new he was gay 4 aster and gey guize r sensitive.

"WAT?! NOOOOOOO!" sreamed geget.

"Werz tha dragon?" asked Mario

"I killed him" said havox cooly like it was no big deel.

"WAT?" sed Mario, he then summoned the rest of the magic consel with his wand.

And wen dey herd they all unimouly sed "ALL HAIL KUING HAVOX!"

"Wat?" Sed gavoc. "I …cant b king!"

"2 bad "sed Marion "Skrim needs a strong leeder in dis thyme of Dats u hamox." He sed.

"I cant" said havox "I must return to my….uh, realm and resQ mi special someone."

"Ur wat m8?" asked Marion

"Special som1…." Said Havoc

Marion thought 4 a sex and then sed "O I geddit….your fuk bubby!"

"Yes" said Havox wit a roll of his eyes.

"Butt then who will rul in ur plac."? Said Marion "Syrim needs aleeder/"

"Ill do it "sad geget somberly "I want the restin place of Aster 2 b somtin 2 b remembered."

"Den its settled" said Narion "Geget will rule in ur place until da return of THE TROO HIGH KIN OF SKYRIM retuns." Da prophecy had cum troo!

"ty" saed havox

"U no wat?" sead qwerk "I just relized that the mileniom faclon doznt hav a werking hyportron drive. Dat meens were stuk on dis backwater planat 4evar! and I dind eben bring mi crocotizor!"

"Y wuld you need dat?" wen you hav me?" ssaid a famila voice…it was….HELGA! She was nude and coverd in hunny. Cyberz nose started bleeding.

"Helga!" said qwert runnin up 2 her. "wat happened?"

"I was attaked bi sum plant monsta" said halga "It 8 mi rite up it did. It didn't no aboot valkeries natural resistrwenc 2 acisd, so it 8 thro mi cloves, butt not me. And I clawd mi wai out thro its gall bladda."

"cool" sed qwerk.

"So…." Said Hegla "wut happened 2 mi father?"

"Helga…." Saidf qwert "I dunno how 2 tell u dis…"

"He died" said havox bluntee.

"Good" said Helga "he was a dick."

"and speaking of dicks…" said qwert unzipping his pants.

"I don't want to coqbloq u qwert." Said havox " butt were still tarped on dis planet wit no wai off."

"Mebe nawt" said marion, he walked in2 da wizard scool and came out wit…. DA ELDER SCROLLZ! "Deze will allow u and ur frends 2 teleportal 2 another realm. Like oblivion, paridice or cloud cukoland."

"Thanjks" said havox talking the scrolls.

"Havov…." Said gegert "will we evar see u agin?"

"mebey" said Havox

Helga made herself some cloves out of a bedsheep.

"You reddy?" askrd Havox

"Reddy" saeid Havox's frends.

So havox yelled "To metropolis"and da portal opened.

"I wish the well on your trevels" said marion.

"tanks" said Havox, and den he and his friends stepped throo the portal.

"Now 2 resQ calnk and wats his name" thought havoc.


	28. Chapter 28:prizen breke pt:2 da seqiul

**Chapter 27: da heist robbery**

It was a nermal dai on da streets of da city-plannit of metropolis from the game. The streetz wer very orderly cuz da polic was out brootalizing ppl 4 informaton.

"wer is havox?" an officer asked a citizen, butt tha citizen cundnt anser cuz the offica had his dic in his mouth.

"Ogbloglmoggle" said the guy.

"mocv along, scum!" said da officer.

Meanwile from the allee, the Q-teem was watchin…They was dressed up like the guys from payday: da heist game, exept dey was weering ski masks instead of gay clown masks. Haxoxe's arm connon had bin repared. In da distance was the most secur prizon in all the galaxy, and it was rite nex 2 da wite house…it was …..AZKIBAM!

"Ther it iz…." Said havoc "ive been seeking you out u sunnof a bitch! Barak obubble's impenetrable prison"

"And were gonna penetrate it!" said qwerk thrusting his hips.

"Um…yeah…." Sead Havox uncumftorably "Cybor, hav u hakked in2 der cameras yet."

"Yeh" saed cyber, who was using simons tummy as a loptop computer "da gards r havin der daily horny prisoner rapefest."

"Guy-on-guy pr0nz!" saied Helga pushing cybor aside "let mi see!"

"Wat sell is clank in."? askecd havox

"he iz in sell 666, da most secure cell in da prison." Said cybor in concern.\\

"Wat abuot Shkips?" asked havox

"He's in cell 420. Da stona tank." Rwplated hcybor.

"kk" said Havox "herz da plan…..Qwerk is gonna go in2 da front gate and distact the guards. While hes doing dat, Helga and I r gonna swingshot up 2 da room of the prizon. Well then brek throo da glass celing and parichut r wai past da LAZORZ to cell 666 and resque clnak. While were doing dat, cybor and somgnond will haxor in 2 da mainfrem and free da pizonerz in cell 420. Hoplully teh riot will alowe we can escape in da chaos.

"Dats brilliant!~" said qwert. "Let mi get in2 mi disquize."

Qwerks disquise was of him dressed like a grieving widow with big butly bobs and lipstick and drag an everything.

Cybers nose started bleeding.

Havox looked at his new arm cannons pipboi, which had a watch onnit. He sed "itz almost 4:20, dats wen da guards change out"

The town clok struk 4:20 and stated playing the bell version of "smoke weed evry dey" by snoopy.

Qwerk waddled in2 the prison lobby, which looked like da lobby from da 12st matrix movie.

"Can I halp u ?" asked 1 of da guards.

Qwerk then started weeping hispericly. "BOHOHOHOHO" he crid "My husbands on deff row, an I nevar got a chance to sai goodbai 2 him."

"Oh yeah?…." saied 1 of da guards who was wielding a chainsaw. "…Wats ur husbands name, misss?:"

"Um….." stuttered qwert "Jerry." He lied.

"The guard put down the chainsaw and wakked ova 2 his laptip computer. He minimized his brozer ful of dolphin pr0nz and opened the prizon filez. Qwerk sweted perfusisily, he knowed he was gonna git caught.

"Oh ya!" sead the gerd "Jerry tha snake rapist. Turned himself in lest week, said a crazy groop o 5 niggaz and a wite guy wer tring 2 kill him bi force feeding him tennis bawls."

"He rapes snaks?." Said qwerk

"No" saed the gard "He rapes ppl with snakes, you and him musta been in2 som rlly kinky shit, any wai ill let him no ur comin and prepare a room so u 2 can "TALK" 1 last time:" da gard sed wit a wink.

Qwerk gulped.

Havox ziplined from a neerbi bulding to da side Alzerbam prisom. He wood hav been reely EZ 2 see if nawt 4 1 ting. HE WAS IVINCISIBLE! This was bcuz he was using his Chinese stealth pants. Wen he got to da side of da building he morphed his newly upgraded arm canon in2 a cutting torch and started to cut in2 da buldin.

"Hav u mad it in yet?" asked cyboer ova da eerpeice.

"Not yet.." sed havox.

"Well rwememba" said Cybor once yur in yull find yourself in da prizon showerz, then yull need 2 use yurshrink ray on yourself. Den yull go down da drain and navig8 2 the drunk tank's toilet. Once der yull free skips and encouureg the other prisoners to riot, and in all the chaos is when Helga will zip over and u 2 will free clamk from cell 666."

"Rite, whatever u say bently" said Havoc

"Ebyryboby got that?" aksed sybor

"KK" said havox as he finished makin a hol in da wall "havox out."

Havox snuk in2 da shower room. It was quiet and dark, havox started using da shrink ray on himself. It was a slow prosecc butt evuntuly it shrinked all his equipment wit him.

Den sudenleee…da lites cam on and wata started porin evrywere. "Wat the…?" said Havox as his shrink ray shorted out. He was aboot 3 inches tall at dis point. Butt he was still invisible

"What?" said cyber ova da mic "A showa wasent scheduled 4 2day, its…oh no! Itzda guys from da rapefest dey got don faster than usual."

Then the door to the showerz opened and in rushed hunreds o prizonerz. Thhey were all doods, it was a total sasaque fest. You had guis wit big penises, small penises, multiple penises, penises for handz, multiple penises, broken pences, penises dat sang music and even 1 creepy mofo that had an eye tentacle penis tumor. Butt, the crown jewel of this sasugefest (that only som1 like mi brother cud appreciate (Yknow cuz hes a fagit)) was the 1 blond minotaur with a painis a hole 10 ft in lenth. "whoa" went havox in a mix of fascination and discust.

"Havox went 2 hide behind a bar of soap, so da prizoners wudnt step on him.

"Yo Jerry," said da penis tumor guy 2 da minotaur "Dat was a pretty good rapefest huh?"

"yoo sed it bra." Replayed jerry "thos dudes didn't no wat they wer getting themselves into."

"Yeh" said penis tumor "it's a shame ur getting da chair 2morrow"

"Hey" said Jerry "it like I always sai if ur gonna go out, go out wit a bang!"

"Ride on" said tumor boy "so wat r u gonna do 4 da rest of 2day?"

"1 of da guards sez I got a visiter, som floozy claiman to be mi wife."

"butt ur nawt married!" said da tumor

"IKR" laffed jerry "butt the gurds don't know dat, and derz nowai imma gonna turn down sum free bootie." He said patting his equipment

"You wanna do it 1 last tim b4 u go?" asked tumor boi.

"Naw bra" said jerry "I want mi assho 2 b cleen for the first lady im gonna do in a few yers. Bsides, da gurds h8 it wen I hav sex in da shower bcuz it clogs up da pipes."

"Need me to do anything?" asked tumorz.

Jerry bent ovar suggustivly "Well u could help mi bi cleaning dis" he said lifting his tale.

So Tumerz grabbed da nearest bar of sop…..da won Havox was on. And he shoved it rite up geralds butthole!

Despite having a big painis, his butt was tite as a joint. Havox activated his breathing filta and den he blaked out.


	29. Chapter 29: up da but

**Chaptre 28: Up da Butt!**

**Warning dis chaptor contains a bref sene of almost guyonguy rap. Don't reed if u got triggas. **

Qwert was escortided bi da prizon gaurds 2 da visitas centre.

"Snakk raper jerry is waiting 4 u in room 34." Said 1 of da gurfds.

"Ok" gulped qwerk

Qwerk entered the room, insid was an 8 ft tall minotur-looking gui wering a prizon jumpsoot. He smelled vagly of soap.

"Well I guess ill just leaf u 2 alone" said da guard nervously as jerry started eyeing his pants, and closed da door leaving qwerk alon with the pyscopath.

"So…" said Jerry "Ur mi wife, huh?"

"Um…." Stammered qwerrk

"I cin onlee imagein ur here bcuz u've herd of da lengary manly prowess of 'snake raper jerry' and wanted a piece 4 urself, izzat rite?"

Qwerk wet himself in feer.

Jerry then riped off qwerts pants "Well lez git to it….." he sed, butt den he saw dat qwrk was a dude!

"You're a guy?" asked jerry. Qwert nodded slowly. Jerry smiled. "EVEN BETTER!" he roared. And took of his own cloths

Qwerk cowered in da corner.

"So. How do you want to start?" asked jery "Bj?,hamdjoj? Didyou bring any snakes?"

Qwerk shook his head no.

"Fine" said jerry "ill dicide, and ive dicided I want ur dic in mi ass!"

Jerry bentover."U have 10 seconds to do wat I sed or ill mak u"

He started counting down "10..9..8..7..6…5…3.. 2…"

He was just aboot to sai 1 one wen sudenlee…al lazer blast blew his fuking ASSHOLE OUT!

Jerry screemed like a bitch, qwerk took da oprituntee to slam his head in2 da sink kocking him out.

Qwerk panted and looked at the uncosious mitaur thing. "WTF was dat?" he asked.

"It was me." Said havox as he decloked in front of qwert.

"Havox!" said qwerk "WTF wer u doni in der?!"

"itz along stery" said havox "I need u 2 git me to room 420, da stoner tank."

"How am I gonna do dat?" asked qwetr

"Just say that skipps is ur cuzn orsomtin and u want 2 visit him. Relpayed havoc.

"KK" said qwert.

And then qwert placed havox between his fak boobs and putis pants bek on.

Qwerk walked out of da cell "U2 done?" asked da gurd.

"Uhuh" said qwerk in his sexee feminine voice "hes almost as good as I remember."

"KK" said da gurd "R u redy 2 go?"

"acctualy" said qwerk "derz 1 mor tink id like, I wanna visit mi cuzn, ships"

"Ya meen mr. McMRKS!" asked da gurd. "NoWAI! UR HIS COUNZN! CAN I GIT UR AUTOGRAPH?"

Sure sed qwerk. And he sined da pec o paper.

"Wow" said the quard "I cant belive I has 'stephanie mcmarks' autopgrap. Kk ill tak u 2 him now" and he did.

X0x0x0x0x0x0x00x0x0xx0x0x0x0xx0x00x0x0x0x0x0x00xxx0x0xx0x0x420blzit

Dis is da stoner tenk" sed da gard "we callit dat cuz dats wer we keep all da stonerz" he

explaind.

"derz nawt many gards" said qwerk "how do u stawp den frum riotin?"

"we geeve em weed evry morning, it keeps em calmas kittenz." Saed the gaerd "anyway her we are." Da gayrd opened the door to the stona tank. Inside was a bunch of stonerz.

Skips was sittin on a bench in da room, qwert walked up 2 him. "Skidies, hows mi favorit nephew?"

"Wha…?" said skids wjho was stoned off his ass. "who r u!?"

"Its me skids, your aunt!" said qwerg

"K" said skidps "you got any cheezeburgerz!?"

"No! but I cn giv mi favorit nephew a kiss" and qwerk leaned fwroerd and frenched wit skips. Havox snuk of from between qwreq's fak boobs and went down skips shirt.

"Whoa….." said skids "dat was awesome…."

Qwerq wiped the spit frum his mouff in disgust "yes well I gotta b going BYE! Get mi outta here" he told the gard "KK" said the gard.

Der wer oda guize Havox recognized in da stoner tank …it was…all the orininal OGs! Eminen, 2pacs, 50cenrts, Snopp dogg, Kanny West, and the other blak guy.

Havox climbed out of skipps shirt.

"NoWAI!" said skipps "I must b seeing tings."

"Nope" saif havoc "im her 2 resQ u"

"IKR" said spips.

Then 50 sat up an sed "Yo! Lil green dood! Who u takin 2?"

"Mi imaginary frend" said Skips "his name is havoxc.

"Im nawt imaginary!" sed havoc My nam is havox And im her 2 resque all of u"

"Howda fuk u gonna do dat?" demmaded fitty.

"tommora imma gonna steel every1's weed, so derl b a riot and you can escape." He explained.

"But werra gonna be stuk in dis cell!" said 50 angrily

"Not if I break da lok" said havoxc showing 50 his arm cannon.

"Danks" sed 50 cents "mi and mi posse, we goy put heer 4 ripping da nutz offa a buncho rapist. We h8 rapist, especialy mi son M&M.

"Don't u worray!" sed havox "tommoraow yull all b free as birds."

AN: Hey guys, im sooooo sorray dis chapta took so long but ive been busy with scool and stuff. Be sure to leve good revows if u liked.


	30. Chapter 30: smok weed evryday

**Chaptot 27 : Smoke weed evry day.**

AN: Hey gusy im so sorry but I wont b able 2 updat as frequently as I id in decemba last yeer. Midterms just happened and I got like, 50/100 in all but 1 of my gay classes. Im gonna have to work mi ass of of im gonna Pull a C out of some of thes classes. So ill b riting papers on whatever 'cognitive dissoinice" is, instead of mi magnim opus. But ill b thinkin of u gusy wen I do.

Whil all of da odda stonerz slept. Da OGs was hard at work helpin Havoc disable da loks in da stoner tank.

"wer do da gurds stor all da weed?" asked havox to cybor who was on his cell pone

"mi cameras show dey keep it in a storeroom close to cell 420." He relaied "y?"

"Is der a cleer rout der?" asked havox?

No" said Ctybrer "itz hevily garded.

"I need a distraction." Said Chaovc

"y don't ya just pull the FUKING fire alarm?" said 2pasc, and he did and the fire alarm went off.

"Oh shit." Said da gards "itza fire!" and dey all left der posts.

"GJ!" said Havox "now lets hurray! Ders no time 2 lose" Havox led all da OGs 2 da weed closet, and dey looked inside. Der was over 50 lbs of mahrihijauna in da room!

"derz NO WAI u doodz are gonna b able 2 smok all dis" said skids.

"u underestim8 us" said fitty "Snoop, go 2 town"

And den snoop rolled up a 3 ft long blunt and started 2 smok pot, thik smok started filling da hallway. Da OGs noded in apreviol.

"Letz go bak 2 da cell" said 50 "he's got dis."

And in just 10 minites, snoop had smoked all da pot in da prizon.

"Whoa!" said avoc "He incredible."

"IKR" said Skipps

Den da fir department came "Is der a fire?" dey asked

"Nope" said fitty "just a buncja smok. Das y we pulled da fir alarm"

"Yeh sed " ice cube "Pulling a fire alarm wen theres no fire can git you in BIG ASS amounts o trubble"

"KK" sed da Fire dept and theyleft

Wen da next dai happened da gards didn't hav any weed 2 giv 2 da stonerz.

"Yo! Yo! Yo!" went the stonas "were da weed b at!" yelled da stonas

"Yeah" saed anudda "I need mi freekin weed!"

"Now every1 just calm down." Sed da hed gard "wer just runnin low, der mite be sum 2morrow. But wile he he was distrected, Havox snuked a blunt in2 da gards pokit.

"W8!" said 2pac "Da fuk is DIS!" he pulled da blunt outta da gards pokit.

"Deez muddafukkas is tring to hogg all da weed 4 demsrlves" barked fitty.

"IKR" said skids

"R we gonna take dat!?" yelled iced coobe

"NO!" yeled da stonerz

"Well then WTF R U gonaa do about it?" chimed in M&M

"Kick ass" yeeled da mob an they started riotin.

A kloxon cam on "warning! Riot in progress in cell 420, all units respond."

Havox den flushed himself down da toilet and he came up in da mens room just outside cell 666.

"Helga, im in position" said havox over his eerpeice git over her naow!"

"K" said Helga and she blew a hole in da wall wif her rokit lawncher and flew ova on her jetpak.

"

Cybor, I need u 2 disable da force field"

"KK" saied Cyber and he did.

And der it was, da door 2 cell 666. Helga raised her rokit lawncher and fired 50 blasts in2 it and the doors fell down.

Hvox rushe d forward 2 get clank out of da restraining chere he was in wen sudenlee…A bolt of plasma cam and hit Helga in da side and she fell 2 da florr.

"Helga!" yelled Havoc. He looked up to see who it was who had shot Helga, it was….PRESIDENT BARAC OBUBBLE! And his 2 bodygards, dey wer all wering power armor lik from fallout games.

"well, well well" said Obubble "The lendary havox, I knew u'd com 2 resque clank. But I must sai, I thought ud b a little taller"

"LOLZ" said obubblez bodygards.

"We don't hav 2 b enemies" sdaid havoc "We both need 2 stop nefarious"

"That mite be troo" said obubble "if u hadn't killed mi favorit daughter, nawt 2 mention my boyfriend, moe Gideon." He said raising his lazer gun at havox "So no, havox, I tink its thyme 2 die!" he was just aboot to pull da trigga, when sudenlee….Helga fired a rokit at Obublle.

The bodygards blew da fuk up, but obbuble was OK. He turned around in anger and fired a superchargesd plasma blast rite at Helga.

"HELGA, LOK OUT!" yelled habov. But it was 2 l8. Helga melted in2 a pool of glowing slitly radio active goo!

"Helga…..NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" said Havox, den obuble turned around to face havox. But wen he did Havox used his stealth soote 2 go invisible.

"Trying to disappear on mi?" said Obubble "itz a good thing this armor comes wit heat vison!"

He raised his gun 2 were havox was stannid "goodbye, lombax" he sed.

But den skrunck da monkee jumped on obubble and took his helmet off.

"WTF?" yelled obubble he dropped his gun and tried 2 get the monky off his back.

Havox ran up to obubbles fallen plasma rifle. It was 2 big for him 2 pick up. Havox cranked the gun to its maximum power setting and shoved a mini grenade in the barrel.

Obubble threw skrunck across the room and piked up his plasma rifle and aimed it at Skrunch.

"No 1 will stand in mi wai dis time!" he said as he pulled the trigga, which caused his gun to explode taking half his face with it in the plazma explosion (basiclee lik Gus frum breaking bad.) Obulbbe fell 2 da ground and he probably died.

"U ok, scrunch?" asked Havox. Skrunkc nodeed.

"Help mi get clank" sed Havox. And so he did.

Clank wok up.

"Havox…?" he sed.

"Yes clank itz mi, havox!" sayed havox .

"Lass time u resqued mi, I thought u wer retchet, but now I know uv bin just as much as a frend 2 mi as he ever was." Said clank.

Dat brought tears of oil 2 havox;s cybernetic eyes. The 2 of dem den hugged, even do clanks was slitly taller den havox becuz havox had bin shrinked.

Then cybor started talkin on da radio "Guys, da roit is almost suppressed, u need to GTFO Naow!"

"can u get 2 the hol in da building?" asked havox

"Nawt wit all da defense turrets outsid." Said cyborg.

"Ders no wai well mak it 2 da roof in time, weenied 2 tak out dem terrents." Said Havox

"Den dat meens wer trapped!" said Clank!

Dun Dun Dun!

AN: Helga is ded! Betchu guize didn't see dat 1 comin. But don't worray everytings prolly gonna b alrite. Be sur to leev gud reviows if u liked.


End file.
